Hello, I'm new to forum but I've been stuck in a toxic relationship for the past 4 years with my current partner and in that time we had a baby and now have my daughter who is 2 years old.
There were red flags from the start which I ignored but over time her behaviour (my partner) has got worse. She speaks down to me all the time, shouts and generally has no respect for me. Often my daughter will see this. When I do call her out on this she gets worse so I walk away.
We've tried counselling but she painted a picture that everything was a misunderstanding and won't accept any accountability.
I could go on and on but in short, I want out. I've felt miserable for years and have only stayed because I didn't want to emotionally hurt my daughter who I love.
I know when I do tell her for the final time that it's over she will either beg me to stay or get really aggressive and tell me I can't see my daughter, which she already does as we don't live together and everything is always on her terms.
What do you recommend doing in this scenario?
I'm sorry to hear that and you must find it very difficult. You may have a domestic abuse service locally - you can google to find out. They will give you support through this. You could make an application through the courts to see your daughter. There are guides to explain this on the advicenow.org website. The courts prefer you to have mediation first but there is an exemption if domestic abuse is present.
hi, is it possible to write up a parenting plan, and see if she will agree to it? then in future you could look at getting it turned into a legally binding document.
Thats a good thought. You can find a draft on the Cafcass website to complete
Hello Username2024,
All of the above posts are I would say are extremely helpful, all I wanted to add was from your little daughters point of view, it could be less beneficial for her to live in a toxic environment than one where you are completely separated and not in an "active" relationship. I think it takes courage to admit when a relationship is at the end, especially for the reasons you have cited, you have tried to get help, but sadly when the other party in the relationship will not own their part in what has happened, then its very difficult for you to move on. You do not want to be living on "egg shells" and in constant fear of what mood your partner will be in, so I would suggest getting outside advice and counsel about your next moves. Your daughter will be far happier if she sees you as Daddy in an environment without all the extra stress, as even at that young age they do notice things and soak things up like a sponge.I also think that by reaching out for help, you are showing your daughter that you want the best for her, and hopefully later down the line she will see that by getting help you were doing the best that you could at the time. I wish you all the very best.
Kind Regards, Parent Support.
Feel your pain. there are a lot of dads here suffered like you, everyone situation is unique, my advise carries on from all the other great advice above. you need to become the best dad in the world from every prospective, family court hate conflict between parents. Advise only: stop all communication with your EX do not respond to any adverse comments.and get a parenting app there are free ones out there. be mindful all communication on the app can be used in a family court and Cafcass endorse them.I agree above try a parenting plan free template on Cafcass website. and if your Ex rejects your app or Plan Cafcass and the judge would want to know why. Cafcass and the court want to see "resolution" between you and Ex. if they don't see it the court will make the order for what they think is best for the child. You can do this its all about your daughter. and don't forget you have PR, your Ex cannot dictate everything this is not the 50s anymore, Dads have rights. Best advice: focus on daughter only remove yourself from the conflict. or it turns into a courtroom battle that is not what you want. good luck.