My children both have games consoles at their mums house. I have always been reluctant to have a games console, as I felt that too much time is spent gaming. However, for Christmas, I finally gave in and purchased a games console for our house (as they can also been used to watch films, Netflix etc). My children stopped visiting my house last month and have told me that they want the games console to keep at their mums. I have told them that the games console needs to stay at my house, as it was a joint present for the whole household (including me and my fiancé). Am I being unreasonable?
Quick answer - no, you're being perfectly reasonable, in my opinion.
I was always reluctant to let my son take things over to his mum's because most of what did go didn't come back. I did understand it from his point of view when he was very small, as he spent most of his time with his mum as - at the time she was only allowing him to see me for one day weekly, but that all changed once there was a Court Order.
The general message he's had since then is that his two households will have different things in them, and that's fine. He has had computer games at his mum's for a few years, but - like you, I have resisted this, though I am contemplating jointly buying an xbox with him at some point, so that it's 'ours' not just 'his' - partly as a way to ensure it stays in his paternal household. He does get pocket money, and is fairly good at saving up to buy the stuff he likes (books and toys mainly), and I've had to learn to be relaxed about him wanting to take those things to his mum's and not bringing them back, as they're his.
hi,
whatever you do, do not buy games consoles and phones for kids and let them take it to their mums house. she will prob confiscate them and all kinds of [censored], just to annoy you. whatever toys and electronics you buy for them, keep them at your place. same should go for clothes too.
check out this vid: co-parenting with a controlling ex: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_2NWuswJgU