New and unsure
My name is Ash. My son is 2 years old and me and my wife have been together nearly 10 years.
I've dealt with undiagnosed depression for a few years due to childhood issues but only got medically diagnosed last year, im on medication and it's helping but I'm still struggling. My son is perfect during the day but doesn't stay asleep during the night so broken sleep and lack of sleep really takes it out of myself and my wife which leads us to take our stress out on each other.
I dont have any friends. Colleagues at work don't seem intrested in anything social outside of work so between being a dad and a husband I feel very alone.
I'm not sure which group I should get involved in to get to know other dads that might have similar interests and maybe make some social connections.
That sounds really difficult for your both. You local library will have a list of local groups so you might find something there that appeals. It might be good for you both to have an interest outside the home. Can you find a babysitter so you have some quality time together? When you get down you could call the NHS Release the Pressure or Talking Therapies
Thanks for messaging, that's not a bad shout about the library il check that out the next chance I get free.
We occasionally are able to get a baby sitter for the evening, but not often enough. Between money and availability we try when we can.
I've looked at a few sports groups in my area I'm going to look into, I always find the 1st session the hardest to commit to, always end up talking myself out of going telling myself "but your leaving the Mrs alone with the kid" "being selfish" etc, I know it isn't true but it's so convincing in the moment.
I think we've all experienced that guilt of leaving the wife home with the kid when we could be giving them a break. It all comes down to self-care. You absolutely need to take care of yourself in order to be a better husband and father. It is in no way selfish to do things like this for yourself. Now if you're gone all the time doing this stuff then you've swung the pendulum too far and that is just as bad for your wife and kid. It's a balance. The same goes for your wife. She needs time to do things for herself as well. My wife and I used to schedule days where it was just our day to do whatever we wanted. For example, on my day I would disappear from the house and go hiking, biking or something like that for almost the entire day just by myself. I would come back rejuvenated and better focused.
My question for you is what kind of hobbies do you have? That might be able to help guide you into finding a group of friends to get connected with. What did you enjoy doing before you had a kid and got together with your wife? Those are some things to think about when looking for things that will rejuvenate you.
Hope this helps