Im absolutely flabbergasted at how many mothers state how awful men are for wanting overnight contact for example, or that its overbearing and not about me/us. Its a very easy position to take as the resident parent calling all the shots.
I have mixed responses from my female friends, some are all for 50/50 and some are well my kids dad will only see once a fortnight when shes at school as its disrutpive to her, oh ok, well why doesnt she stay with dad then? because Im her mum, you wont change my mind etc its me she wants!
Its like the resident parent have their views based purely on the idea that they get to be the one calling all the shots, they arent the ones being asked to see once a fortnight.
makes my blood boil, I dont want my children to be distressed but I also dont want to be the one who automatically steps away.
I am at a bad point myself, my kids are with their mum and I am not getting to look after my kids, at first she agreed then it changed as soon as her family yet again got their "2cents" in and my kids mother clearly is not thinking for herself and I believe my kids are suffering,
I am trying to not distress my kids but I have to do something and am at a loss at which way to go forward and they are over 4hrs away and it is not cheap to try and see them but it also means I barely got to spend a hr with my kids due to travel and it takes a while to save the cost of the travel.
I know my kids want to spend time with me but their mother's family is doing what they can to prevent.
There was not violence or anything like that so there no reason I should no get my kids.
I myself do not know what I can do as I am in scotland and they are in england yet it seems nothing I do to keep things civil and well is getting anywhere and in all honestly I just want proper time with my kids staying with me.
I too seem to be the one stepping away as I don't want my kids to get up set but her family have made things difficult at every turn and I don't wish things to be messy and am really worried about my kids.
Even after all the [censored] my ex put me through and now pretty much having my daughter 50/50 my ex still things she is the superior parent it proper gets on my tits she always points out how she is the "resident parent" so that means she is some how more of a parent than I am.
She constantly says I am lucky that I have my daughter so much and that most nearly all her friends ex's only see there child once every 2 weeks it's so one sided and a complete load of bull****.
She also says she has more of a connection with our daughter more than me because she carried her for 9 months I swear they live in a fantasy land and so do 99% of society it also gets on my tits how most people think dads don't know how to be a parent and they think it's right to sit there blatantly talking about what they think I'm doing wrong when I'm out with my girl for instance last sat I went for a carvery just me and my girl and my girl sat next to me as she always does and ate at the table then there's this dragon of a middle aged woman sat opposite say at the top of her voice to her husband how I should have my girl in a baby chair.
I just ignored her and carried on eating they finished there food and on the way out she came over and said you should really have your baby in a high chair as she's to young to sit at a table I said yeah I heard you and my baby is 28 months old she's more of a little girl than a baby and I've never strapped her into anything that includes a high chair, push chair nothing good bye see death stared me then left.
I know I'm a better parent than most mums half of them don't feed, clothe or bathe their kids properly no teaching of manners nothing sends me up the [censored] wall.
Hey tigdon welcome to the forum, it's pretty straight forward to get a court order to see your children it will stop your ex and her family calling all the shots too, were you put on the birth certificates?
yes and married as well, i can't afford the legal fees and they know it.
it would be worth having a word with the Corams Children's Legal centre (www.childrenslegalcentre.com) for free legal advice - let them know the children are in England and you are in Scotland, but I think it will be an English court that you would use if you went that far. You'd also need to look at mediation - www.nfm.org.uk - worth contacting them and explaining the problem of distance and travel.