I split up after abuse from my ex in march had contact with kids most days b4 work after the she beat me up again now she is saying I am unfit to have them unsupervised because I reported to the police so now having use courts and solicitors to sort contact out again she is the one stopping me even social services are saying I can have unsupervised contact its the fact she is using kids agaist me to get her own way again I wish as a dad we could just pick them up and see them as this is killing me inside its my oldest one birthday on sunday who will be 4 I got a text of her mum saying that after legal advice that she is not letting me be there and I have to send a letter from my doctor to prove I am fit to have them and that leagal advice from them is I have to go thourgh a contact centre to see them but up until this incedent I could have them whenevery she wanted me to have them also looking after here newphews whilst they went away to the theatre in Birmingham and to have kids when her nan was dying had 4 kids to look after over night norhing has changed apart from she is using the kids any way any advice would be great
Hey dude that's awful man, try and keep your chin up this can and will be sorted sooner or later, you have come to the right place for advice as many Dads on here have been treated the way you are including myself, we've all been or are going through it.
May I ask are you going through court or have been?
had a first meeting with a solicter last week who is doing the first bit of work free like letters etc also they are going down dv route to get legal aid
and to top it off she reported me for haresment by sending texts about kids and said I went round to her house but I was at work the police said not to worry about and have loged it so she lost there cos she has got my old rota system not new one she thought I was at mine not at work
Excellent thats a step in the right direction to getting all this sorted out, bear in mind if you don't get legal aid you can self represent and it doesn't cost you the earth.
Ignore absolutely everything that her or her mother are saying about seeking advice ect it's just scare tactics the law states that every child has the right to BOTH parents in their lives so the bend over backwards to make sure the father is involved.
It's absolute [censored] on earth not seeing your children I was stopped from seeing my 6 year old step daughter and my new born baby for 10 long months it was torture, I do have contact now but it is my daughters birthday next week too and my ex is making sure I won't be there and she's making sure I wont be there for xmas too what gets into these women?
Hey fella hang in there. I am going through the same thing as you are. I have not seen my kids for almost 14 months now because of a vindictive, deceitful and evil ex-wife. Women seem to be able to accuse us of anything and the police and courts believe them, but when we stand up for ourselves it is seen as being aggressive and unruly. Well stick with it and I hope things get sorted for you and you get to win the case over her and get your kids.
I am hoping for the same thing as my life is stagnant at the moment, I feel nothing, just numbness, pain and heartache that I cannot hold my kids in my arms and tell them I love them unconditionally. Ex partners seem to have the family court system on their side and father's have no rights for justice whatsoever. This needs to be raised to the highest levels in the land, but that will still not work. Some judges say the advocats for father's rights. Well they are talking a load of BS as I have been there and my judge was supposed to be one of these people, but he shot me down like a feather.
If you ever need anything, support, friendship an ear to bend I would be happy to give you my details and we could share ideas and advice.
Chin up mate we are all behind you.
Hi thanks for that yeah had a first court date since posting had cafcas do a welfare report had my ex slated me to high heven but I keeped to the facts and the judge pulled her up for it anyway I get to see kids every saturday 2-430 until a full order is issued had a section 7 report. Done and cafcas said thank you cos I took documents in with such as refences doctor letter work report etc and just found out this week cps are,reviewing the case aggist her new evedince so they say I wonder why she was being so nice prob hopeing I will drop chargers any way if u need,any advice let me know,take care
Well it all came to a head last night. I managed to find out where my kids are living and its my son's birthday today. I took two cards from me and my mother to the house and just posted them through the door got in a friend's car and before we could drive away, my ex-wife came out with the cards and just chucked them into the street. What sort of person would do that. I just got in the car and mouthed out the window what a disgrace. Half an hour later I had the police knocking on my door telling me I had no right to post the cards through the door. There is no restraining order or prohibition order from me doing so. she is just annoyed I found where she is living.
Who do these jumped up little Hitler's think they are telling me to stay away when I have done nothing wrong and not committed a criminal offence. I am at a stage now where I am just going to give up, leave my kids as they are as its not fair to drag them through this all again, because it will just repeat itself over and over again. the family courts are against fathers and nothing any one says will change my opinion on that. you stay strong and I hope it all goes well for you and your little one. I don't think I will be around much longer as I cannot take the heartache of losing my kids, but also cant put them through the courts again.
Hi Harrylou
....I can understand why you are feeling so low, this process can grind you down but p,ease don't give up on yourself or your kids, I'm sure they love you very much and you must hang in there for their sake.
Kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for you know. When they are older they will understand what you tried to do to be in their lives.
It can be very isolating when you are fighting through the courts, nobody seems to understand the distress it causes and the feelings of hopelessness and lack of control. We've all felt this in varying degrees and I for one can understand how demoralising it can be.
I just want to help you through this low point Harrylou, is there anything I can do that can support you?
Please keep talking and perhaps we can work out a way forward together.
Mate,stay,strong its,nasty what,she has done it proves shes think of herself and not the kids and the police should not have said that co s they said to me even if I went round there there is northing they could do as public road etc the only time they could act is if I was entering the propety or thearting abuisve or alarm sec 5 public order act here if u need to chat