DAD.info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | Ask Debbie | ASK DEBBIE- I DON’T WANT TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN

ASK DEBBIE- I DON’T WANT TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN

Ask Debbie

Ask Debbie

Dads, do you struggle sometimes? Who do you reach out to for help? Debbie Pattison, a qualified counsellor at Fegans can answer your questions. Send them in to Ask Debbie at info@dad.info and if she can she will answer. Today’s question is from a second-time dad…

I am a Dad. I have a four-year-old daughter and my current partner is pregnant and wants me to stop seeing my daughter. She said that she needs my full attention when the new baby arrives. I don’t want to give up my daughter, she is my best friend but my partner does not understand. What do I do?

Second-time dad

Dear second-time Dad

I really feel for you in this very difficult situation. Your partner knew that you had a daughter when you met. Her request for you to stop seeing your daughter and to give your full attention to her and the new baby is not ok. This smacks of controlling behaviour and needs to be stopped in its tracks. Stick to your guns here and refuse to stop seeing your daughter. Your daughter very much needs you too and would be very impacted if you suddenly stopped seeing her. 

I would suggest sitting down with your partner and gently explain that the new baby will have lots of your love and attention but equally so will your 4-year-old daughter. 

I am wondering if counselling would be helpful here. It would offer you a safe, supportive and confidential space to work through this problem and help you to resolve this in a calm and boundaried way.

Warm wishes 

Debbie

About Debbie

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is My-Post-650x163.png

Debbie is an experienced counsellor and advocates for children and adult’s mental health.

Find out more about online counselling with Fegans

Our counselling sessions cost £48 (they are therapy not legal advice, for divorce and separation support please use our forum). If you would like to find out more information about our online counselling, provided by experienced and qualified counsellors leave your details below and Debbie will be in touch for an informal chat to talk through the process and the costs. We work with young people (aged 10 and over) and parents.

Counselling with Fegans

By submitting this form you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms & Conditions.

Related entries

Dear Debbie: my new stepdaughter doesn’t want me around

Dear Debbie: my new stepdaughter doesn’t want me around

Each month our resident counsellor Debbie Pattison responds to a reader query. This time, a dad has asked Debbie for guidance on how to create a peaceful relationship with his new stepdaughter: Dear Debbie, I've moved in with my girlfriend and her daughter and it's...

Ask Debbie: How do I talk about periods with my daughters?

Ask Debbie: How do I talk about periods with my daughters?

Every month our resident counsellor Debbie answers a question from our readers. This week she advises a dad how to approach embarrassing growing-up issues with his kids: Dear Embarrassing Dad, You sound a great father, who really wants to do your best for your girls....

Ask Debbie- I’ve been replaced by another man

Ask Debbie- I’ve been replaced by another man

Dear Lost Dad, I can only imagine how you are feeling right now. I am sure you are feeling arollercoaster of emotions and are feeling protective towards your children andtheir thoughts and feelings on this. I agree that your children may be feeling confused right now,...

Latest entries

One on one time with children- the benefits

One on one time with children- the benefits

When it comes to building a deeper bond, you can't beat one on one time with children. There are a number of great benefits not only for your relationship but also for your child's wellbeing and confidence. What is one on one time? One on one time is time devoted to...

Parents call for smartphones ban for under 16s

Parents call for smartphones ban for under 16s

MPs are being pushed to consider a smartphones ban under 16s following a number of tragic deaths. The mother of murdered teenager Brianna Ghey, who was killed by two 15 year olds, has asked for both Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer to consider measures to stop children...

How to help children with anxiety

How to help children with anxiety

It can be tricky to know how to help children with anxiety problems- as parents it's difficult to know what to say or do for the best. However, there are a number of tools that you can guide your child to use to fell better, and draw upon to regulate their emotions...

Pin It on Pinterest