Dad dot info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
DAD.info | Family | Relationships | Long term | Staying together for your kids

Staying together for your kids

NellGC

NellGC

Are Mummy and Daddy really happy?

b2ap3_thumbnail_john-mark-smith-9QTQFihyles-unsplash1.jpg

 

In difficult news, a study carried out by Direct Line has revealed as many as 22% of parents stay in a relationship they’re no longer happy with, purely for the sake of their children.

This is a sensitive and tricky subject and vulnerable to over simplistic sweeping statements.

Are children happier living with Mum and Dad?

In principle, (and with lots of caveats) all children are happier if their parents are together.

At the same time though, all children are at risk of becoming more vulnerable if there is repeated open and angry conflict in the family.

So the question, are Mummy and Daddy really happy, hides a number of variables such as…

 

Are you able to live together peacefully?

 

Are you able to model managing your differences?

 

Has there been a long period without too much change (schools/house/bereavements) in family life?

 

If the answers to the question above tend to be yes then perhaps “staying together for the sake of the kids” is possible whilst acknowledging the huge cost of such a sacrifice. It is difficult in our culture to not place our fulfilment first…but the rewards for our children are huge, if we can do so peaceably with our co-parent.

Staying together for the kids

The survey in fact suggests a staggering 7.6 million people have made that tough choice and buried feelings and pushed on in their relationship, despite feeling it had reached an emotional conclusion because of their kids.

When asked, reasons for staying together the study found:

35% of parents didn’t want their children to grow up in two homes

21% felt like they needed help raising their kids

16% didn’t want to admit their relationship had failed

10% even went as far as to say having the kids in the house served as a distraction from the relationship’s issues

The majority of men (46%) believing it was better to have two parents living at home, while the highest percentage of women (31%) said their own financial concerns were the biggest factor in staying together.

Ignorance is bliss!

Perhaps most shockingly of all, 3.1 million of those surveyed kept their desire to split from their partner totally to themselves.

Find out more about this fascinating survey by checking out the full report below:

DIRECT LINE SURVEY

If you are to separate one thing we would recommend to do is to use a mediator. They are brilliant at placing the children at the heart of how you are to do family in the future.

One thing we would recommend not to do is overburden your children with your pain.

That is the hard bit but so worth it.

Fegans and Dad.info are soon to release a course specifically for Separated Parents sign up to our newsletter to be the first to access it: CLICK HERE

Related entries

Avoiding War With The In-Laws

Avoiding War With The In-Laws

My mother-in-law said, 'One day I will dance on your grave.' I said 'I hope you do; I’ll be buried at sea.- Les Dawson  Negotiating tense relationships with in-laws can be a minefield, not to mention a constant headache. Perhaps they disagree with how you parent...

15 Ways to fix your relationship

15 Ways to fix your relationship

Although we are all locked in together, we still need to find time and space to be ‘together’. The Coronavirus lockdown is testing all of us, forcing new relationships along at a faster pace or putting pressure on the cracks in old relationships. Domestic violence is...

She’s Pregnant and Seems to Hate Me!

She’s Pregnant and Seems to Hate Me!

   So your wife is pregnant, and divorce is on the cards already? Whoa there, cowboy! Let me guess, you can't do anything right, she hates you and you think this is the end of the relationship? Thought so. If your wife is still pregnant, you would be wise to let the...

Latest entries

Drink and young people: how much is too much?

Drink and young people: how much is too much?

Many of us did it when we were young; you hit the pub with your student mates, over-indulge on the alcopops, giggle like a hyena and then either throw up or collapse in a drunken heap. Oh sure, it's all very funny to recall later, but at what point does the 'fun'...

Should mediation after family breakdown be compulsory?

Should mediation after family breakdown be compulsory?

Here is the big question: Does anyone win in family court?   In our experience, not parents, and certainly not children. Here at Dad Info, we support thousands of parents at every stage of separation. Listening to them, we are incredibly sympathetic to the...

Have you visited the Dad Info forum?

Have you visited the Dad Info forum?

Did you know that Dad Info has it's own forum? It's not just a place for people to share and vent, but it's also a space to get advice from those in the know. Being a parent can be unbelievably hard. The minute a child is born, parents find themselves exhausted and...

Pin It on Pinterest