Hi all ,
Really need some advice. My daughters mother has stopped all contact between myself and my daughter. I have not spoken to her in over a month now and I'm at my wits end. The last two years or really since the birth of my youngest child with my Wife my relationship with my daughter became very strained. She made allegations against my wife and I and said that she no longer wanted to visit us at weekends due to my wife. So my time with her was reduced to days out at weekends and no stay overs. My wife then got post natal depression and we decided to move closer to her family some five hours away from my daughter, I was hoping that I would be able to travel to see my eldest daughter. Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control we ended up in financial difficulties and its taken me a good few months to recoup my losses. During that time I had regular video and telephone calls and we were getting on fine. I made regular maintainence payments but it wasn't what the CMS were demanding as I just could not afford it. I kept in contact with the CMS and kept them updated to my situation. They were increasingly unhelpful and just made my situation worse. They then contacted my employer and demanded a DRO be placed on.my earnings , the amount of which is astronomical. So I'm now looking at being back in financial strife. But to cap it all I can no longer contact my daughter who Is not responding to my calls or texts. Her mother doesn't reply to anything I send or text and really never has done. I really don't know what to do , I've tried being reasonable with the CSA and.made offers to pay what I'm able and they have completely ignored me and any evidence I've supplied and now I can't even speak to my child anymore. I'm absolutely broken and I'm being made out to be a dead beat dad when I'm not. I've always been there for my kid but her mother has fought me all the way. I just want to see my daughter and know she is OK. Has anyone else been in this situation ?
Sorry to hear what your going through. CMS are very rigid. If you don't pay what they ask of you then they take enforcement action as you have experienced. It now looks like you will have to remain on DEO for 6 months, then you can request CMS to take you off it.
With contact, I would suggest to contact a family mediator. They can decide whether to invite your ex to mediation or not. If not, they will give you permission to apply to court for child arrangements. Have used mediateuk in past. Can try them. An appointment would cost £100. Then it would be £232 to submit the court application. If your on low oncome/benefits then you may be able submit the court application for free (help with fees form).