@lava35 I understand. My x too. Nothing. Not a single incident. No police. No social service. To be honest, I hardly saw her as we never lived together and she is too much after a couple of days. I just wanted to see my son. Then she found a new dad for my son and started all the lies, calls to the police, social services, victim support, etc. She just googled it and found what she had to do. I think they are instructed to delay the access as much as possible so you are forced to go to a contact centre to rebuild the relationship. They know that every allegation - even the most absurd one - has to be investigated. And every hearing takes several months.
I would recommend continuing but don't use solicitors as it will cost you 30k or more and you will probably get the same result.
For example, If she claims DV on the first hearing, there needs to be a fact-finding hearing so what is the point of having the hearing at all and spending thousands if you are represented. The court should just order the fact-finding and section 7 report without going to a hearing when they receive a C100 with DV allegations. The problem is that all the judges, barristers and solicitors (especially the legal aid solicitors and barristers) are parasites that benefit from the system.
thank you. It’s not DV. She’s saying domestic abuse. I mean rowing with someone or leaving them I didn’t know constitutes as domestic abuse, she uses words like “stonewalling” another term I’ve never heard apprantly meaning you stop talking to them. And “gaslighting” another word meaning your nice to then. Basically one minute we’re rowing and I don’t want to discuss anything as she’s unreasonable next minute we get past it and we’re fine. Now it’s being turned against me which is not the case in the slightest. She’s very bitter indeed, and this whole process is really stressing me out as she always agreed that if we split I would be in my sons life, naturally minute he was born different story doesn’t even recall ever saying it and I’m lying. You just can’t seem to win. I’m sure the judge sees it day in day out, I just hope the judge doesn’t feel sorry for her because of her bad past with her ex before me.
@bill337 is you case all finished now then? Do you mind me asking how long it went on for? Was there a fact find?
@lava35 yes thankfully all over. was glad there was no fact finding. just section 7 report. lasted about 5-6 months.
@Lave35 Domestic violence and domestic abuse are used interchangeably.
What is domestic abuse?
We define domestic abuse as an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, including sexual violence, in the majority of cases by a partner or ex-partner, but also by a family member or carer. It is very common. In the vast majority of cases it is experienced by women and is perpetrated by men.
Domestic abuse can include, but is not limited to, the following:
- Coercive control (a pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence)
- Psychological and/or emotional abuse [2]
- Physical or sexual abuse
- Financial or economic abuse
- Harassment and stalking
- Online or digital abuse
thank you for sharing that. Everything and anything is controlling to my ex because she suffered DV by her ex ( NOT ME) so your be having a debate about it and she’s like you don’t get it you don’t get, or your have an argument and say she’s mad, next minute oh my god my ex used to call me that etc etc etc - I’m like god calm down will you. You literally can’t say anything to the woman and you 100 percent can’t control that woman she is stone cold and she’s the sort of person if she doesn’t want to do something she won’t. But she plays the victim card all too well and I got bored of it and used to tell her I’m fed up of her playing to victim to every little thing and then it always comes back to her past. I’d just go home I was always happier when I wasn’t with her compared to being with her and felt she was a real drain. I’m a lot happier now ( apart from trying desperately to meet my son ) but like she has said to the solicitor even me taking her to court is to be seen as controlling?!?!? I had several letters from the solicitor pleading to discuss arrangements she ignored so I was left with no alternative, what else was I meant to do.she needs to grow up! She’s going to come across a lot of problems in life if she can’t handle any form of criticism.
@lava35 My ex said exactly the same!. She literally said, "If you want to see your son, you have to take me to court". When I took her to court after trying for months to make an amicable arrangement, she claimed that I wanted to control her life. I am afraid you too are for the long run as your ex knows the system well as mine. In my case, I believe she has a found new father for my son and wants to play happy family and I am a nuisance. Of course, keeping the child maintenance payments.
i totally get where your coming from I really do. I mean personally I couldn’t care less if she’s with someone I’d be happy for her but she loves drama her whole life is drama she thrives off it can never live just a happy normal life never!
CMS is a funny one, never returned my solicitor letters only time I ever engaged to her in 18 months, next minute CMS calling me, you need to pay for your son. Yes no problems how much, I’ll pay. Money has been there ever since he was born. Point I’m making wouldn’t engage with my solicitor with regards to such a fair proposal of contact. But will pick the phone up to the CMS to make sure she gets her money.