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Long Distance Co-parenting

 
(@dadofthree87)
New Member Registered

Hello everyone,

I'm facing a significant life decision, and I could really use some guidance and insights from those who might have been through a similar situation. Here's my story:

My ex-partner and our kids currently live about 4 hours away from my current location, which has made maintaining a close relationship with them quite challenging. On top of that, I'm in a long-distance relationship with someone I care deeply about who lives in Edinburgh. After much contemplation, I'm considering the possibility of moving to Edinburgh to be closer to my partner.

However, this decision comes with its own set of challenges, particularly with regard to my kids who would continue to reside in Norwich. I'm committed to making coparenting work and ensuring my children's well-being and happiness. I want to explore all the available options and learn from others who might have been in a similar situation.

I'm seeking advice, experiences, and insights from anyone who has navigated a similar path. How did you make coparenting work in a long-distance scenario? What options did you explore, and what were the outcomes? Any advice on maintaining a strong relationship with your kids while living far away?

I'm open to hearing about your experiences, suggestions, and any tips on making this situation as smooth as possible for everyone involved. Your support and advice are greatly appreciated

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 19/10/2023 8:49 pm
(@champagne)
Honorable Member

you can google co-parenting from a distance and there are some helpful tips.  I hope you mange to work everything out.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22/10/2023 6:26 pm
(@clarinet)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello Dadofthree87,

Thank you for sharing.Whilst I have not experienced your exact situation, I would suggest that communication is the key element here for each of you to understand your situation and that of your children.

If your ex partner is the primary caregiver, then I would suggest that your children need to understand, in a way that's age suitable, why you wish to move so far away from them, and have suggestions ready to be able to explain this in a way that's going to have minimum impact. Change for any of us can be a challenge, but I believe that sometimes forewarned is forearmed, and in the long run your children will thank you for your honesty.

Also, have you discussed your possible move to Edinburgh with your new partner? How do they feel about you moving to their city to be nearer to you? Would they feel happy knowing that you may have your children with you for longer periods of time (due to the distance between you and them), would they be prepared to engage with your children and become a part of your family? Also, your ex partner may wish to have reassurance that in case of an emergency, you would be able to travel down from Scotland to be with your children if needed. (Obviously I am unaware of the ins and outs of your situation).

 

Of course your quality of life matters as much as your children, but getting the level of communication right and being honest with your feelings and thoughts around a big move like this, will definitely help. I agree with Champagne too, google long distance co-paretning and see what's out there. Make sure to add UK on the end of the search too!

Wishing you all the very best,

Parent Support Volunteer

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24/10/2023 10:41 am
(@clarinet)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello Dadofthree87,

Thank you for sharing.Whilst I have not experienced your exact situation, I would suggest that communication is the key element here for each of you to understand your situation and that of your children.

If your ex partner is the primary caregiver, then I would suggest that your children need to understand, in a way that's age suitable, why you wish to move so far away from them, and have suggestions ready to be able to explain this in a way that's going to have minimum impact. Change for any of us can be a challenge, but I believe that sometimes forewarned is forearmed, and in the long run your children will thank you for your honesty.

Also, have you discussed your possible move to Edinburgh with your new partner? How do they feel about you moving to their city to be nearer to you? Would they feel happy knowing that you may have your children with you for longer periods of time (due to the distance between you and them), would they be prepared to engage with your children and become a part of your family? Also, your ex partner may wish to have reassurance that in case of an emergency, you would be able to travel down from Scotland to be with your children if needed. (Obviously I am unaware of the ins and outs of your situation).

 

Of course your quality of life matters as much as your children, but getting the level of communication right and being honest with your feelings and thoughts around a big move like this, will definitely help. I agree with Champagne too, google long distance co-paretning and see what's out there. Make sure to add UK on the end of the search too!

Wishing you all the very best,

Parent Support Volunteer

ReplyQuote
Posted : 24/10/2023 10:42 am
(@katebrownell86)
Eminent Member Registered

That sounds like a tough decision with a lot on your plate. Keeping a close bond with your kids while managing a long-distance relationship is challenging, but it’s great that you’re committed to coparenting. Regular video calls and planning visits can really help bridge the gap. Flexibility and open communication with your ex-partner will be key. It might also be worth exploring halfway meetups or shared holiday arrangements to stay connected. Wishing you the best in finding a solution that works for everyone involved!

 

ReplyQuote
Posted : 22/06/2024 6:06 am
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