Am i being controlled or is it normal
I'm sorry its going to be a long one
So I have a 1 year old , me and mum split up about 6months afder baby arrived since this recently last month to 2 months me and mum have been getting on . I live in a flat on my own I have found that me having my own space help me .
My ex ( baby mother) has claimed that I raped her at one point befor she conserved and when we split up called the police .
She also put rules in that I give her money to baby which of course I dont have a problem with
So this last 2 to 3 weeks we have been getting on untill the big argument that has bought things back to a negative level .
She had a course that needed to be handed in at the end of the month 30th shes had this book for 2 weeks and I went fishing on the 28th she still have a couple questions to do . So because I went fishing she had a massive go olat me saying I dont care that she needs to finish the book others she will be charged 100 pounds . My response well you have had 2 oe 3 weeks to fill out 60 questions.
Didn't go down well
Iv also lost my job recently and so I went into my back up plan that I have been running for a year .doing handyman work its going all good .
So I had a customer which is a bit crazy but lovley woman in her 50s
So my ex seems to think she can't trust me so she's been going through my phone whilst I'm not there looking reading all the messages . This is the 3rd time and she has seen that iv been talking to not in any sexual way just chat and of course some work .
Now she brings this on me tonight which has made my blood boil as I feel that I'm being controlled everything I seem to do she has her peace in it .
She says she dosnt trust me and that iv told her well there isn't nothing to worry about .
She thinks I have signs of autism to which she called my doctors to get me an appointment I am on antidepressants with panic attacks and enxity.
I feel I'm being controlled and labelled
What do you think
it does sound controlling. if your both separated, how is she able to get hold of your phone and go through it? also I think she is responsible for the costs of the course she is doing, unless your happy to pay for it.
@bill337 so this is not the first time . She did it when I ether put my daughter to bed or I was doing somthing .
Then she trys to say because I was slagging her off to one of my girl mates few months ago this is qhy she feels the need to look through my phone .
Without me knowing
And as for the course I wouldnt pay nothing to it if it come to that . Its not my problem but she says so your happy for your money you give me to go to that course just because you didn't let me have time to do it
Why are you letting her go through your phone? If you are separated then you are no longer responsible for each others lives. Her course is nothing to do with you and neither are your friends or work to do with her.
Maybe you could try going to Relate to help with the relationship difficulties? Sadly I expect they have a waiting list so it may not be an immediate solution. If you feel you are being controlled then you probably are. Explain to her how you feel. It may be that the relationship is not going to work. If so, hopefully you can agree times when you can see your daughter.