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Am i being controlled or is it normal

Eminent Member Registered

Evening  all 

I'm sorry its going to be a long one 

So I have a 1 year old , me and mum split up about 6months afder baby arrived   since this recently  last month to 2 months me and mum have been getting on . I live in a flat on my own  I have found that me having my own space help me . 

My ex ( baby mother)   has claimed  that I raped her  at one point befor she conserved  and when we split up called the police . 

She also put rules in that I give her money to baby which of course I dont have a problem with  

So  this last 2 to 3 weeks we have been getting on  untill the big argument that has bought things back to a negative level .

She had a course that needed to be handed in at the end of the month 30th shes had this book for 2 weeks  and I went fishing on the 28th she still have a couple questions to do .  So because  I went fishing she had a massive go olat me saying I dont care  that she needs to finish the book  others she will be charged 100 pounds . My response  well you have had 2 oe 3 weeks to fill out 60 questions.   

 Didn't go down well 

Iv also lost my job recently  and so I went into my back up plan that I have been running for a year .doing handyman work  its going all good . 

 So I had a customer which is a bit crazy but lovley woman  in her 50s  

So my ex seems to think she can't trust me so she's been going through my phone whilst  I'm not there looking reading all the messages . This is the 3rd time  and she has seen that iv  been talking to not in any sexual way  just chat and of course some work  .

Now she brings this on me tonight which has made my blood boil as I feel that I'm being controlled  everything I seem to do she  has her peace in it . 

She says she dosnt trust me and that iv told her well there isn't nothing to worry about  . 

She thinks I have signs of autism to which she called my doctors to get me an appointment    I am on antidepressants with  panic attacks and  enxity. 


I feel  I'm being controlled  and labelled 


What do you think 

Topic starter Posted : 04/10/2021 11:28 pm
Famed Member


it does sound controlling. if your both separated, how is she able to get hold of your phone and go through it? also I think she is responsible for the costs of the course she is doing, unless your happy to pay for it.

Posted : 05/10/2021 10:08 am
Eminent Member Registered

@bill337  so this is not the first time . She did it when I ether  put my daughter to bed or I was doing somthing . 

Then she trys to say because I was slagging her off to one of my girl mates  few months ago  this is qhy she feels the need to look through my phone . 

Without me knowing 


And as for the course I wouldnt pay nothing to it if it come to that . Its not my problem but she says  so your happy for your money you give me to go to that course just because  you didn't let me have time to do it 

Topic starter Posted : 05/10/2021 4:13 pm
Eminent Member Registered

Very controlling.

Why are you letting her go through your phone? If you are separated then you are no longer responsible for each others lives. Her course is nothing to do with you and neither are your friends or work to do with her.

Posted : 03/08/2022 2:49 pm
Reputable Member

Maybe you could try going to Relate to help with the relationship difficulties?  Sadly I expect they have a waiting list so it may not be an immediate solution.  If you feel you are being controlled then you probably are.  Explain to her how you feel.  It may be that the relationship is not going to work.  If so, hopefully you can agree times when you can see your daughter.

Posted : 03/08/2022 10:21 pm

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