I feel my anger could get the better of me soon
Because not only is my EX alienating my son against me but the grandfather is as well
He always had beef with me when I was with my EX he never liked me
So after we split he joined in alienating my son against me
My son as purposely had his name stripped and I've been blocked from knowing my sons secondary school all to control me.
I'll be very surprised that i'll ever see my son again with the amount of brainwashing that as been put on him about me
I feel like i want to go round his house and give him a good beating - Not so much for the beef i have for him but more for the harm he is doing to my son.
He is a child abuser and he is being left to it - I was screwed over by the family court and can no longer assist me - So my only option is to do him harm to my protect my son.
This can easily get out of control my anger is getting stronger by the day
Any advice please
My first bit of advice would be to take deep breaths and not do anything you will later regret. I have had to live through months of lies, I sometimes i feel I am at the end of my tether. But I never let if beat me and fight on.
Why can they court no longer help you? Can you not apply for a child contact order? Have you attempted mediation a all?
Have you thought about sending your son a letter with your contact details on and reach out to him?
hi,
no do not resort to violence. you will only screw up your life and possibly be banned from seeing your child permanently. contact your local social services, if you think your ex and her partner are being abusive to your child. how old is your son? maybe he is on social media, and you can try search for his details, and make contact.
As said, do not resort to violence, you'll end up in court (or worse) and your opinion will no longer be credible.
I would seriously consider counselling for anger management, it's not that your reasoning is wrong, it's just how you deal with it.
My son is sixteen so I can no longer apply for an order - If I could go court again I wouldn't because I think the family courts are useless. They just let the mother run riot / Break orders without any consequences.
I've also applied for mediation a few in the past and my EX refused
I currently have a order in place on till my boy is 18 for no contact
MY son is 16 and i cant find him on social media
As previous , and it’s hard but if you want to see your kid don’t resort to violence . Even sending texts etc that could be see as harassment or Threats will
Land you in bother with the police.
Have you reported your concerns about abuse to the police ? They will have to investigate and they’ll get social services involved so maybe they will be able to bring to light what’s going on and that will help you going forward .
If you think it’s hard now , it’ll be beyond worse if you go chucking right handers about
As others have said, don’t resort to violence... that’s also not setting a good example to your son. Your son is 16 will make some life choices, so you need to step up and rise above it... always make sure you send birthday card, Xmas card presents etc recorded delivery and signed for... it will prove you still care and think of him...at some point he’ll look at it different through life experiences and he will ask questions. He may even want a roof over his head from you and that’s where you come in and provide..
If you have concerns then call the police or speak to social services immediately, don’t wait..make a diary of events.
Speak to someone for sure and help with your pain...
It is normal to have an occasional strong emotional response to something. I always repeat this quote to myself:
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
― The Dalai Lama
Hi,
I would encourage you to do all you can to not get angry and instead develop coping mechanisms as this will help with your son in the long term.
It is normal for a father in law to take his daughters side and I had this and I got angry.
Try and use dialogue and reason.
Hello SadDad2019,
This has obviously been a very difficult situation for you, and of course since you wrote your original post things may have moved on. Like all the other people that have commented, anger versus anger is not helpful to anyone, especially for yourself and your son. Keep a record of all communications you have with him, or try to have with him, for example birthday cards, letters etc, so that one day when he is older he will always know that you did your very best to keep communication open with him. Helping yourself would be a positive thing for you too, perhaps in the form of counselling to talk to someone outside of your family and friends about how stressful the situation is/was. Having anger stored inside you can be damaging to your health and well being, and to those around you. In the long term if you have done as much as you can to keep communication open and do things the right way, then you will have peace of mind that you know you did all you could in keeping some sort of relationship going with you son.
Parent Support Volunteer, Fegans