I am finally divorced and have a court order stating the children will spend equal time at both houses. We also have a fincial consent order stating
"And upon the children of the family living between the parties under a shared care arrangment both parties agree that neither will pursue any further claim with the child maintenance service"
It also states
"Upon the parties agreeing that the applicant will continue to claim child benefit and disability living allowance payments for the children of the family"
This is a clean break capital and income.
My concern is I think after 12 months she can ignore this and apply for child maintenance. She is being very sneak historically (I agreed to had of child benefit to her as I was pretty much just being taxed on it anyway, but I know now this was to be seen as the primary carer for the CMS), and she is very controlling so will try and take the children to all doctors appointments without me.
She has changed the childrens registered addresses with the schools and doctors and I have said that I now would like 2 of the children registered with one parent, and the other registered with another. My reasoning is that I'm 90% sure that 12 months after this order she can go to CMS and open a new claim and I Want to protect myself as I just don't trust her.
We currently pay 50% for everything, but generally it's me sending her money as she signed them up to expensive clubs, there are a few I take them to but I just pay for them directly.
She also tends to buy the school uniform and then I transfer half.
I do all the dentists stuff with them.
I'm so freaking exhaused by all of this. She is an utter nightmare though. She called social services twice because I allowed the 12yo and 13yo to walk to school (there are no roads to cross, less than a mile away, have phones on them and I spent ages working with them on it). They have mild autism that she plays up massively so she can claim DLA and it annoys me no end that she is purposfully disabling them for money. I'm doing my best to give them a different experience.
I’m just looking in to all this now for my own case. Due to the wording on the court order I don’t think she will be able to try and claim again. You could contact the CMS by email (so you have it in writing) and just ask the question.
Ive read that the CMS take the main carer as the one claiming child benefit, but you have a court order clearly stating the agreement between you. Wouldn’t she be breaking that court order if she did try and do this.
I’ve also recently read/realised that there is a difference between shared residency and Equal day to day care. It seems anyone with a child arrangement order as shared residency with the other parent, it is just a matter of where they lay their heads. The CSA then count the one claiming child benefit as the main carer, unless you can prove this equal day to day care, which you can as per the court order wording and by all the things you pay for and do with/for your children.
Continue to keep your evidence of all the stuff you pay for etc. Contact the CMS for confirmation. But above all else, try and relax now, it sounds like you’ve been having a stressful time.
Well done on getting the wording right on your court order. Did you specifically ask for it or did the courts raise it?
hi,
sounds like you have a great arrangement for the children. in 12 months time your ex could try go open a claim with CMS. but you can send them your court order which states equal care, so CMS should decide that there is no maintenance payable.
Thanks for the replies.
I have spoken to CMS Options who were very helpful. The doctors the children are registered at doesn't appear to matter - the fact that you take them on appointments that are on the days they are in your care is what matters apparently.
I current send her 50% of the money for clubs etc they go to minus what I pay. I will now be asking for a copy of the receipt for this
School clothes she used to buy then we would divide them. I will now buy my own.
I hope that it will be enough.
This is all so stressful.
@dad23 CMS like to see court orders when there is dispute about shared care, so your order will help them make decision. try not to worry. you can cross that bridge later if you have to.
Hi All,
Came across this site, very helpful. I separated in 2019 and divorce was finalised in Jan 2020. I had also the same in the consent order saying no child maintenance due, shared care and will pay half towards uniforms, clubs etc. I am stressed now as its December 2022. My ex has remarried and has a child with her new husband etc. She has now filled a child maintaince claim against me. I have two children with her 13 and 15, we both care for them equally. Also my ex a couple of years ago said to me, I can claim for the kids child benefit as her and partner are over the threshold. This year she put a claim against me to take back the child benefit. I contacted the benfits team and said I will pay her half when I get it - which ex is fine with. Will my consent order hold up? I have submitted this as evidence to DWP along side a couple of months screen shots of my calendar where it shows the shared care with kids. I have even kepth a list of costs shared equally. We also agreed to make the care flexible for the children, will this mean I would now have to follow strict care rota - which will remove flexibility for the kids. Not what I need with the cost of living increase. Any advise would be great. Thank you.
Very stressful.
@san77 hi. It's good that you kept records of spending on the kids. There is chance CMS will
Ask to see evidence that you have equal day to day care of kids (not just equal overnight stays) and hopefully they decides there is no maintenance to pay. Issue with those divorce/maintenance orders is that after 12 months have passed, other parent can freely open a child maintenance case and that would take precedence over that order.
@bill337 thanks for that. I have them for the whole day and night. I did provide few calendar screenshots. I have them every Mon and Tuesday. And on rotation every Friday, sat and sun. Both children are happy with this, they did not want one week on or one week off.
Still not heard any more from the CMS. I uploaded my D81 that was provided with the consent order. In there is states Children live with mother and father 50:50 shared care. Just want this resolved. 😔
Hi,
How long ago did you send the documents? CMS take very long time. Took them 10 weeks + 1 complaint to make changes about shared care/overnights in my case. Have proactively keep chasing them for update.
Well they got back to me and I have to pay. So going to seek legal advice.
@san77 man I'm really sorry to hear that. I think unfortunately you need to pay but you can go to tribunal and hopefully will win. My ex hasn't applied yet but I suspect it is just a matter of time. It feels so unfair.