Hi Guys, hoping to get some thoughts and advise from others experience here.
I am a single dad involved in shared care arrangement for my 9 yr old boy. He is with me Sun 9am until Wed 7pm, so its 4 days and 3 nights. Remaining time he is at his mum's (family home) which is 4 nights and 3 days.
Due to lack of communication from ex, Divorce is halfway through, mediation didn't work and possibly I need to file in court for finances too. During mediation, I did offer to take complete care of my son's financial needs all the way upto completion of uni.
As it stands I have moved out last year and living in a rented flat which I pay for myself, I am continuing to pay mortgage for family home each month, I pay for all of son's expenses - sports classes, tuition, entertainment needs, school lunches etc.
Ex has all of a sudden filed CMS application and been told to pay up considerable sum each month.
In my understanding this is a 50/50 care as I thought I have 4days/3nights and ex has 3nights/4days. This is where I have gone wrong terribly as CMS just wont listen apart from counting the number of nights.
This care arrangement was the outcome of a long court process spending thousands of pounds and a lot of time. I can't imagine going back to the courts to get that extra night with my son to make it 50/50.
It seems like hitting against a brick wall as CMS just wont consider any of these points.
My boy stays with me 4 days (3 nights) which includes 3 school days so I do the school run on the those 3 days and take care of couple of classes during my time as well.
Can anyone please suggest if there is any way I can prove son spends 50% time with me and save myself from the burden ?
And not to mention Ex is in a full time job and earning 50K annual sal, but not paying for anything other than her own bills.
Hi,
Cms like counting nights. But they also state if day to day care is equal, then there's no maintenance to pay.
I would recommend you join this CMS group on Facebook. Experienced members there:
Useful info here https://www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/this-is-how-i-stopped-child-maintenance-with-50-50-shared-care/
Thanks much for your previous responses, based on checking lots of information from other posts as well as FB groups I have decided to submit for mandatory review on the decision as I believe I should not be paying any CMS at all.
I am planning to provide the following as evidence to prove day to day care that I manage is more than time with Mother.
- My son stays with me from 9.00am Sun until 7.15pm Wed (effectively 4 days / 3 nights), including breakfast on Sun and dinner on Wed !
- Includes 3 x school days where I manage drop/pickup
- I pay for school lunches for entire month, not just for my days
- I manage his dentist appointments (address updated to mine) and also have evidence that I have attended with him for previous appointments
- school primary address set to mine
- I manage his karate class and also pay for it (Mon 5-6pm)
- My son is preparing for 11 plus exam and I manage his tuition classes, help with home works and also pay for it (Sun 10-12)
- I have evidence of paying for gifts when he attends his friends' birthday parties (both in my care and otherwise)
- I have evidence of paying for school uniforms, shoes etc.
My son stay with mother looks as follows:
- Stays from 7.15pm Wed until 9.00am Sun (3 days / 4 nights)
- no activities or classes to attend
- only 2 school days (Thu/Fri), nothing to pay for school lunch
- Any birthday parties he attends during this time, gifts are paid for by Father
My frustration is there is total lack of communication from the Mother and I have decided to manage my son's expenses entirely outside of CMS anyway. The monthly mandated payment from CMS doesnt make sense when I am managing almost all costs from my side.
All this for someone who earns £50K per annum and yet gets away with CMS application with such ridiculous claim.
Sorry for the long post, but please do advise if I am missing something to highlight day-to-day care such that I prove its 50/50 care if not more with me...
My understanding is that they normally go with what the resident patent tells them. Can you speak to your ex and get her to advise them of the situation. She should have had to declare this on her application at the start about shared care so it does not sound like she has done this.
Hi Guys,
I am new to DAD info, only signed up today in fact as I have been looking for some support with regards to where I stand in terms of the amount of child maintenance I am paying the mother of my two children. I pay her £300 per month which is roughly £60 more than what she is legally entitled to and she's now asking for more money towards the costs of school uniform but can afford to take them away on holiday for a week at the start of the summer holiday's even though she works part time?
Can anyone help on this s to where I stand?
Many thanks
Andy
@andyt79 hi so sounds like you have a private arrangement with your ex? if you like you could voluntarily pay her extra. if you choose not to, she will likely open a case with Child Maintenance service. if they calculate that you have to pay a lower amount each month, then you would be better off. but the pitfalls of CMS is that if you earn more, you pay more. if you get bonus, do overtime or get pay rise, then your maintenance payments increase.
Ok, so what I read from that is you are paying for everything, and she is wanting more… I am sure that is her having her cake and eating it.
I would kindly let her know that if she wishes to go that route and expect additional payments that something else will have to give, i.e. stop paying for entertainment when he is with her, school lunches and other things that Child Maintenance is supposed to be paid towards.
Let her know that if you want the money via CMS then the CMS payments are supposed to be used towards the following, (food, house, utilities, clothing etc) and stop paying for other things. Basically its not like you are not paying her for it, you are just changing the fact that you were paying it already to now being paid via CMS.
Hi guys, Just an update on my original post. I had applied for mandatory reconsideration and it has been succesfull in that CMS now agree Shared Care is equal and there sharing is on "equal band" meaning no extra nights calculation. I have managed to prove day-to-date care is equal even though I have only 3 nights a week with my son.
However, the problem now is they have still sent me a reduced payment. Previously I was asked to pay out 570 a month, now that reduced to 450 a month. CMS say though it is equal shared care, they consider other parent as primary care holder and therefore I still need to pay.
I am clueless now as their letter clearly states the outcome of mandatory reconsideration and they agree shared care is "equal".
CMS are bluntly avoiding any further discussion and not listening at all.
I proved with all evidence that I take care of my sons expense even outside CMS and the fact that I have shared custody which is equal, I thought I do not need to make any payments at all.
Now my next option is to appeal through independent tribunal. I have no clue about this process and not sure if I have a case here to pursue.
Please can anyone suggest if appealing through tribunal is worthwhile, given that I have CMS agree that I do have equal shared care.?
@snooks74 there is absolutely no communication through any channel with the mother involved. Their solicitors are as useless too. I am also considering varying the order to get an extra night as there are other problems which justify the variation.
@mah787 hi. I would recommend this support group for paying parents. There are many in there that have same situation as you and are challenging CMS: