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Early Stages of Separation, not married, jointly owned home, 2 kids

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Currently going through a separation, we are not married but jointly own the home under a mortgage. We have 2 kids.

I have now moved out and in with my parents house, while she remains in the house with the kids. She has applied to CMS therefore I'm expecting a letter anytime soon, therefore wanted to understand what to expect and the process.

If I am still paying the mortgage at £400p/m that she and the kids still live in jointly owned by myself & her, would this be reduced from the CMS calculation that is made for me?


I am happy to pay the calculation generated, however seems unfair if I am still paying the mortgage as well as a CMS calculation.

Also I an unable to have the kids overnight at any time due to living out of a bedroom at my parents,  I am currently awaiting for her to let me buy her out so that I can get back in the house and have the kids 2-3 nights a week, therefore can my calculation be re-done once this happens.


Thanks for any advice, its been a stressful time


Topic starter Posted : 13/09/2022 8:09 am
Illustrious Member


you could possibly claim for special expense through CMS, if you have no equitable interest in the property your paying mortgage on:

When a paying parent can apply for variation

If you are a paying parent you can ask for certain expenses, which reduce your gross income, to be taken into account. These are called 'special expenses' and are for:

  • the cost of keeping in regular contact with the child or children you pay child  maintenance for – for example, the cost of fuel to travel between your home and the child’s home
  • costs to support children who live with you if they have a disability or a long-term illness
  • repaying debts from the former relationship – for example, if you are paying a car loan for a car the receiving parent has kept
  • some boarding school fees for the child or children you pay child maintenance for – but only the everyday living costs or ‘boarding’ part of the fees
  • making payments on a mortgage, loan or insurance policy for the home you and the receiving parent used to share – the receiving parent and the child or children must still live in the home and you must have no legal or ‘equitable’ interest in it

All the above special expenses, apart from supporting children who live with you if they have a disability or a long-term illness, must be for more than £10 per week.

If your gross income is less than £7 a week or you are getting benefits, you can’t ask for any special expenses to be taken into account.

Receiving parents cannot apply for a special expenses variation. 0'special%20expenses,or%20a%20long%2Dterm%20illness

Posted : 13/09/2022 11:28 am
New Member Registered


Thanks for the info Bill. Its much appreciated


Topic starter Posted : 16/09/2022 4:48 am
New Member Registered


I was in a similar situation with my ex partner when we separated, again not married with one child. I tried to keep things amicable but when money come into it things soon turn sour.

To cut a very long story short I moved out and was struggling financially. So I just paid half the morgage. The bank where very understanding and at the end of the day its a joint debit. I do feel a guilty but still contribute to lots of other things ie after school clubs, even when paying CMS. At the end of the day he's my son.

Not sure about a reduction on the CMS. I never got offered it and at the end of the day its still half my investment and putting a roof over his head. I might just be a soft touch 


Posted : 21/09/2022 8:24 pm
Honorable Member

If you buy her out, where will she live with the children?  Its not uncommon for mother to live in the house with the children until they are older.  Can you arrange to have the children for a day and  take them out somewhere?

Posted : 22/09/2022 8:05 pm

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