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Ex contacted child maintenance services because she wants more than I can afford

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My ex kicked me out last year with no warning, took the house (I paid mortgage for 14 years, but didn't get anything back), kids, and everything I owned.

I've been paying her 150 a month for the last year as that's all I can afford (my take-home pay is 1750 a month and I have quite a lot of debt from loans I took out every time she told me she needed money). She has now moved the kids more than 3 hours away from me, meaning I hardly get to see them, and contacted child maintenance services, who she says have been unable to find me (even though she has my address and phone number, so I don't know what she told them.)

I am contacting child maintenance this Friday, but I am worried that I won't be able to pay rent and food with higher payments.

The kids are not wanting for anything. She works at a private school (kids go there for free) with free accommodation while renting out the house we used to live in, so an extra source of income. She also recently bought a new car, a motorcycle and took the kids on a two-week holiday to Turkey. Meanwhile, if my payments are doubled (which it looks like they will from maintenance calculator), I will be unable to either pay for fuel or food. 

Any advice for when I talk to them would be much appreciated!



Topic starter Posted : 09/08/2022 12:30 pm
Active Member Registered

There are a few different ways you can go about this as you mentioned multiple issues:

1. What is you and your exes marital status? This is relevant as it will be used in evidence in a number of scenarios depending of what's raised during application stage and what you want to challenge with regards the case. 

2. Do you have any evidence that she was party to these loans?

3. Do you have anything written with regards agreements for shared care of your children/ability to see them?

4. Just a point - CMS use credit reference agencies/any evidence in the public domain to get in touch with you via phone/letter. If you've been registered at different addresses including the one you used to live with your ex the letters they send to notify you of case could be going there hence why they said they couldn't find you - they ask you to confirm your address at first point of contact as security and as an ID to determine if the address they have for you is correct. If they can't determine a fixed abode they go based on best evidence. 

I am guessing that you didn't keep much record as evidence of loans/mortgage payments, discussions about the children care... I can offer advice on these issues - read my post

I know the system and can offer coaching on how to fight back.

Posted : 10/08/2022 3:56 am
Illustrious Member


If you will be traveling to see kids every other weekend, you should be able to claim the travel costs through CMS. They can also reduce your maintenance if kids stay with you every other weekend, 4 nights a month. If your paying income into a pension, let them know.

Posted : 10/08/2022 6:37 pm

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