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Ex has involved CMA...
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Ex has involved CMA and is suddenly unreasonable

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Hello - my ex & I separated over 5 years ago, and due to a recent complaint I made about her current partner things have become extremely difficult between us. Nevertheless, I continued to make my normal direct maintenance payments. We previously had a pretty fluid arrangement, I would have the children every other weekend and beyond that during half terms or if she has plans I'd take them additional weekends. After the recent breakdown In the relationship, she has gone to CMA to arrange payment stating that I only have them every other weekend. I've asked her if she intends to do this can we arrange the half terms / holidays In advance. She is refusing. CMA are also using an old tax year where I got bonuses as their calculation, I've informed them this isn't the case and shares current year.  Sadly, this is all about money to her, and she's doing this so she can get more from me. Any experience or advise from this forum would be appreciated. I've already engaged a mediator 

Topic starter Posted : 27/11/2023 7:35 pm
Illustrious Member


If you were to keep original arrangements of every other weekend, and holiday time, CMS would class this as 1 night a week shared care. If she if refusing to allow kids the holiday time, then you could apply to court if mediation fails.

Feel free to message me if you need further advice

Posted : 28/11/2023 11:16 am
New Member Registered

@bill337 thanks! My plan would be to split all holiday times and therefore fall in to the higher bracket of 2-3 nights per week via mediation or a solicitor. However, my ex is refusing to engage on it. I have them now Friday - Monday 

Topic starter Posted : 28/11/2023 12:06 pm
Eminent Member Registered

I had same thing happening to me. I was paying Child maintenance for last 10 years and have been seeing our child every second weekend. Since may last year, 2022 my ex writes letter to Child Maintenance that I am not paying Child maintenance, brings story that she is being abused and cohesively controlled by me, even though I am living in London and she lives 110 miles away, in Felixstowe, Suffolk (I don't speak to her, we organised all contact through email and txt), I have been put on Collect and Pay since august last year, money has been deducted from my wages straight away and amount is 3 times more that what I used to pay. I am still fighting Child maintenance regarding this issue, but to stop this forcefull deduction from my wages, I had to leave my work and get on the doll. I been living true nightmare that I am still trying to sort out. It is shocking that in this time, after all this years, Child Maintenance can be used as tool by receiving parent and tools and actions that they have is pure medieval case.

Posted : 29/11/2023 4:50 pm

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