I have paid csm for the last 7 months but my ex is getting rather unreasonable when it comes to updating the change in circumstances as I'm now in a position where they can stay over 1/2 nights a week and some nights for tea I do my share of School pick ups etc but as soon as I suggest updating the circumstances she uses threats of them not staying over till Jan no idea why it's Jan but that's what's said I played fair and kept all our debts we built up together out of the CSM claim.
What can I do to get it updated without it all going south?
Can the change be backdated?
Should I just accept defeat and keeping paying I don't mind paying it's just the principal of the situation I pay my way , days out , bdays ,clothes , activitys etc just want it to be fair.
If your paying through CMS then you would need to go to online account to report changes to overnight stays, or phone them. If she stops you seeing kids then in that situation you may end up having to take legal route and get a court order for child arrangements. CMS will not backdate amount, they only work it out from the date you report the change.
If kids stay with you friday-sunday every other weekend, then CMS classes this as 1 night a week. Don't expect a significant reduction from CMS, could be £30-40 reduction to monthly payments.
You can check CMS calculator site to get idea of what payment would look like: