Well the story starts 10 years ago when I caught my partner cheating, as you do, I basically walked away leaving 2 childern, this wasnt the first time I caught her cheating, anyway to cut a long story short, 1 child has come of age and now hes 18 is no longer entitled, so I stopped paying, the other child who is 13, there has always been a black cloud over him, nobody, including me thinks he is mine.
To cut a very long story short, she has now applied to the CMS for maintenance for him, she is a compulsive liar and very deciptful, so I got a home DNA test in, she refused to complete it, I then contacted CMS 2 weeks ago about this and they did nothing about it, based on the fact that I signed the birth certificate, however it is my understanding that this is no longer proof of paternity, so again I contacted the CMS and asked them what is happening about the DNA test, this is when they told me the above and that they haddent even started processing it, so I told them I want one done, looks like theyve got the ball rolling this time, I was on the phone to them for 2 hours on this call.
Now heres the crazy part, if she refuses to do there test, most people would see she is trying to hide something, not the CMS though, she is allowed to refuse it and they will then make a decision themselves, I told them based on that decision will be the grounds as to whether I take you to court or not, obviously if she agrees to this test and it negative, the case gets closed, if its positive then I carry on paying, however if CMS close the case because she refuses, she can just reopen a fresh case and so the ball starts all again.
Finally, as im paying by direct pay, CMS wont help me recover any of the money if he turns out not to be mine.
There is litterally a 1000 reasons why I think the child is not mine, but im getting ready for work right now and dont have time to list them all, and zero reason why I think he is mine.
Im just wondering if I should make that first payment to her, or with hold it until this is all sorted out.
A home DNA test is not valid, you need to get one through CMS, which you have now done. If you dispute that the child is yours, and she refuses to get the DNA test done, then CMS accept your statement and you are not liable for maintenance from the date (I think) that the DNA test is ordered. I'm not sure if you get a refund of the cost of the test if she refuses, I'd ask about that. If she does have the test done, and the child isn't yours, then I think you do get that cost refunded.
Hi
I wouldn't make the payment but instead set aside the funds so that you can clear any arrears should the child be yours.
Just my opinion..
Thanks guys.
Finally home now, but the reasons I dont think he's mine is firstly he looks nothing like me, my blood type is O+ his is a weird one, something like A- rh positive (apparently golden blood) cant remember what my ex partner is, also she went into premature labour with the child, (they managed to stop the labour, However) although I was aware of it, I was looking after our first born a spitting image of me, her ex husband came from nottingham to birmingham to my home, grabbed some of her belongings and rushed upto liverpool womens hospital with them, I was quite shocked by this, surely the right thing to do would of been to relieve me, then obviously cheating on me over and over, so much to the point she had one aborted as she didnt know if it was mine and I refused to accept responsibility for it.
Hi
Many children have different blood types, I guess you just gotta go with your gut feeling.
You've got the ball rolling with DNA test so just hang in there and wait it out.