Is there anything I can do about my Son's Mother's lies to CMS?
She claims that I have him only 3 nights a week and this is simply not the case. He often comes on holidays with us and his 2 siblings. We travel to see family for long weekends, his mother often misses or moves nights due to work and social arrangements. We basically had him over Xmas break also.
I spend as much time with my Son as possible, probably more so than a lot of Father's who are not split from the Mothers.
I would prefer it if my Son lived here, where it is more rural, so he can be with his siblings and go to the school in this area. I have talked to her and requested that we go 50/50 shared care but she has none of it because she wants the money from me.
She knows that I will do anything for my Son and the support that not only myself, but my Wife and her family provide is immeasurable.
If I behave in a less flexible way and stick to only the 3 nights a week, my Son will suffer and I do not want that to happen. However, now that my payments have gone up, my Son will suffer as I will not be able to afford to do as much with him, also his siblings will suffer too.
Should I get solicitors involved?
hi,
no do not get solicitors involved. they will charge you a tonne of money just to talk to them and write letters. CMS like to see court orders that state how many nights the kids live with you. so ideally you should be making a court application. ask for 50/50 equal care. if you don't get that, then atleast you will get the 3-4 nights a week written up in the order. Then your ex will find it difficult to dispute that once CMS have a copy of the order.
your looking at £300 for court application inc fee to pay to sit a mediation session by yourself. mediator will need to give you permission to go to court.
Thanks for your response. The issue I have is that the Mother is behaving like she has no support yet we all are here for my Son. For example, when he broke his arm at school, she did not leave work, it was me that left wok and took him to the hospital...
She takes advantage of the situation and uses me because she knows that I will not say no. I have said to her that I am more than happy to become the parent with care and to be honest, I couldn't care less about applying for CMS unless I was struggling. She earns a very good wage, takes around 3-4 holidays a year, by herself while I look after my Son (again, I am not bothered about her taking holidays or me looking after my Son, it's the principle of the matter).
She has only taken him away twice, now that he is older. To date it's been myself that foots the bills and takes my Son away because I feel that's a very selfish thing to do.
I am worried because all roads seem to lead to legal action and I do not feel I have the funds or stamina to see that through. All I want is for my Son to have two loving homes (which he does, in fact he's completely spoilt and wants for nothing), support and guidance as he grows and all the opportunities possible. Unfortunately, this latest move has increased my payments considerably which ultimately will have an effect on all of that, and his siblings. I've had to tell him today that he may not be able to go to the club I signed him up for anymore because of all of this and highly doubt she will contribute.
What is involved with the Mediation? Even that scares me a little.
The fact you have 3 nights a week and at least half the holidays there isn't a lot a mediator will do in your situation. your ex will refuse .
You will then go to family court where they are unlikely to allow more than 3 nights a week and half the holidays unless your ex agrees which she wont.
Family courts don't like ordering 50/50 care generally as they know mum will be claiming the relevant benefits and CSM. A change of residency wont happen as there would have to be very serious safeguarding issues which there isn't. this could cost you a lot of money once you go down legal route.
With CSM unfortunately you are going to have to pay what they are asking unless you have a court order saying different regarding the nights you have children. only possible way to change your monthly payments is to discuss it amicably with your ex partner