Hi, just after some advice on a thorny issue that I know will cause some considerable upset with the ex.
I have two kids with her, and they both are resident with her most of the time. I pay maintenance for them according to CMS calculator figures and am happy to do so. In addition I contribute when she makes ad hoc requests for extra to cover things such as clothes, clubs, etc.
Soon, one of the kids will be moving in with me for various practical reasons. I won't be in a financial position to continue paying the same amount to the ex, as well as now supporting an extra person living with me. So my intention is to reduce payments accordingly. I'll really struggle otherwise.
I know she's going to hit the roof. I've given her advanced notice twice before over recent years that this was likely to happen, but she's been burying her head in the sand.
Now it's looming, she's threatening to reduce contact as she says any reduction in maintenance to her will mean she can't afford fuel to share journeys with the kids. I suppose I'm asking if there's anything I can do to stop her going down this route (which seems like blackmail to me).
Any advice much appreciated.
Hi
How old is child coming to live with you?
Would you consider court action to ensure child does come and live with you?
Could you financially afford to maintain payments for a couple of months to allow your ex to adjust and ensure child moves over? If so that would be my recommendation as if you do need to go to court and have the arrangement already in place then it would be quite clear that she has stopped just because of the financial aspects and courts don't really like this. If she doesn't allow the move to happen and you go to court then she may well put forward other reasons rather than financial to explain why.
Hope this helps.
@Daddyup , thanks, that's definitely helpful. The child coming to live with me is 16 and I've always taken the view that they're old enough now to choose whether to live with me or the ex. So no court action necessary.
I think it's a good idea to soften the blow by giving her a couple of months at current CMS rates before reducing it.
She doesn't appreciate that I'll still allow her to receive the child benefit, and although coming to live with me, I won't expect her to give me any maintenance (which I could reasonably expect to receive). I guess I can't do much about her attitude, but will stick to the facts when it gets heated 🙂
Use the CMS calculator to work out what each of you should pay the other. The difference between the two figures is then paid to the parent who has the lowest CMS figure.
If you obtain a court order for shared care the CMS will calculate maintenance based on the terms of the order regardless of whether or not your ex adheres to the order.
Good luck
@fwiw sounds sensible to give it a couple of months, plus she can adjust to new household expenses etc..