My ex is demanding that I pay a weekly amount based on what she 'has heard'.
I've since discovered and used the online CSA calculator and realise she is asking for more than what she is due, by about £10+ pw plus she also wants 50% contribution for all school trips and uniform.
I beginning to detect she is getting a little greedy and I wish to check all facts before I try to re-negotiate with her.
A few facts first...
Now that the marital home has been sold the logistics make it unreasonable for me to have the boys sleep over midweek (journey time of 25 minutes each way). Our previous arrangement when I lived 5 minutes away meant they could sleep over with me midweek, dropping them back to hers in the morning before school.
So to recap, at my current address I have the kids as follows;
week 1
Wednesday 5-8pm
Friday 5-9pm
week 2
Wednesday 5-8pm
Friday SLEEP OVER
Saturday SLEEP OVER
Sunday return by 8pm.
Plus around 10-15 nights extra per year with holidays etc.
I really wish not to come across as a penny pincher, I love my kids dearly and take them away when I can for trips and breaks, paying for what holidays I can afford, but I want to be able to contribute in what is a fair way, not a way in which she wants me too leaving me with little to spare at the end of each month to spend on anything never mind the kids!. Hence why I want to get my facts right from the outset.
Appreciate your feedback, thanks.
Hi RichieN,
There's a sticky at the top of the Child Maintenance section called "how does the CSA calculate payments" it links to an informative CSA leaflet.
From what you say you are entitled to a one seventh reduction off your weekly payment, and the payment covers all expenses, you are not liable to pay any extra.
Hi RichieN
Thank you for your post, I am William the Child Maintenance Options consultant. With you having a family-based arrangement in place you may wish to speak to your ex-partner regarding your maintenance payments. With a family-based arrangement there are no strict rules or formulas to follow, they are flexible to suit the needs of both parents and their children. They do not have to be just about exchanging money, you could include within your family-based arrangement paying for school trips. Family-based arrangements are not legally binding and there is no one to enforce payments if they are missed. If one parent breaks the agreement, you should try to talk to them as soon as possible to sort out any problems.
If either parent has a change in circumstances, negotiation also plays a big part in ensuring that payments continue. If you or your ex-partner or your children's circumstances change over time, remember to review and update your arrangement together. If you feel that mediation may help, there are organisations who are experts in that area. Please visit http://find-legal-advice.justice.gov.uk/ in order to find a mediator in your area.
In your post you have mentioned that you have already used the online calculator, you may wish to give this figure to your ex-partner to help with negotiations to help you with your family-based arrangement. If you would like an idea how much child maintenance you may be asked to pay if you were to make an application via the Child Support Agency (CSA), you can use our online calculator. This is on our website at www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator.
As Nannyjane has mentioned, with a statutory child maintenance arrangement, you have to pay the amounts calculated by the CSA. You can of course buy specific things for your children, but they will need to be in addition to your regular payments. Within a family-based arrangement buying specific items such as school uniforms or paying for school trips could be counted as child maintenance, however, they will not count towards your statutory child maintenance payments.
If you feel that you can not renegotiate your family-based arrangement with your ex-partner, I have included a brief description of the other options available to set up child maintenance. There are two ways that you can claim child maintenance through the Statutory Scheme, one option is called Direct Pay. This is where the CSA calculate maintenance payments on parents' behalf and then leave it up to them to make the payments between themselves. There is also a full collection service available via the CSA, which is the called Collect and Pay. They calculate, collect and enforce payments on a parent's behalf and, because arrangements made using the CSA are legally enforceable, will take action if payments are not made. If you decide to use the statutory maintenance service in the future, then just to let you know that your responsibility to pay will start around the point you are contacted by the CSA.
If none of these options are suitable for you, you may wish to consider a Consent Order, which is an official ruling made by a court. To arrange a Consent Order, both parents need to agree how much child maintenance will be paid and how often before going to court. This usually happens when parents are going to court for other reasons, such as arranging a divorce or dividing their property or other assets.
Useful tools and guides such as the Discussion Guide will help you choose where, when and how you want to talk with the other parent, as well as organising what issues you want to talk about.
You may also find our Supporting Separated Families guide Managing conflict with your child’s other parent helpful. Amongst other useful information, it could help you if you are finding arguments and disagreements stopping you making a successful child maintenance arrangement. These are available on our website at http://www.cmoptions.org.
We have a sorting out separation web-app on our website at http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/sorting-out-separation that you may find useful as it offers help and support to separated families.
If you would like to talk to our team in complete confidence about child maintenance you could give us a ring on 0800 988 0988 between 8am and 8pm Monday to Friday or 9am and 4pm on Saturday, alternatively, you can visit our website.
William