Am struggling a bit after my world was turned upside down a couple of weeks ago. I'll try and keep it brief and explain what has happened, would really appreciate some advice on what may come next.
Pretty much out of the blue I was denied usual contact with my daughter, it had been threatened the day before but was still a bit shocking when it happened. Ex has denied contact for no valid reason before, this is the third time in 5 years. Have had a court order for contact in place for a couple of nights a week since 2013 but this has grown to about 60/40 access over the years, which I thought was working well and was happy with.
I didn't report the breach of court order that weekend expecting it to blow over quickly, however early the next week allegations were made that I had physically assaulted my daughter and also some implications that something sexual may be reported also. Next thing I know the police are involved and I'm under investigation for common and sexual assault. Can't stress enough how happy my kid and I are generally in our time together although the last time I saw her, which was when her mother told me she didn't want to see me, daughter agreed and said she never wanted to come to my place again.
I've been voluntarily interviewed under caution and am very cautiously optimistic that there will be no charges as the accusations look pretty bizarre and have no basis in fact whatsoever, I think people have been putting words into my daughter's mouth.
Am really worried though that once I get past this police involvement I'm going to be totally screwed over by SS, Cafcass etc, all over a false and possibly malicious report.
Have suddenly gone from being fully involved, revolving my life around my kid and being really happy to being made to feel like the worst of all criminals and being banned from seeing my daughter, plus the worry that I may never see her again, it just doesn't seem possible this can happen so easily.
Hi there
I'm so sorry that you're going through this, it's quite shocking that a parent would make such false allegations, but unfortunately it's more common than you would think. As you say, without any evidence they usually end up as an NFA, but it's there on your record and can affect future contact.
As you have an order in place, if contact is stopped you can apply to have it enforced... however if the mother states there are serious safeguarding issues, the court won't enforce. They will order reports to be done and ultimately a fact finding hearing to decide whether the allegations are true.
Depending on the calibre of judge, it can go either way, but usually if there's no evidence, hopefully the court would want to move contact forward, albeit cautiously.
Until you're back in court there's no way of knowing what the outcome will be.
It's probably best to wait until the police involvement is resolved before taking action over the breach. Have Social Services become involved? When you know more about how the authorities want to handle the situation, you will be in a better position to know what steps to,take next.
Best of luck
Thanks for getting back to me.
Yes Social Services are involved, I believe they received their information from school and they passed it directly to the police.
Regarding court, I've read that a breach should if possible be put before the judge who made the original order - this would be a good thing as he was a very decent and logical person who seemed to understand the malevolence of my ex. He in fact warned us both at the time that he would be not happy of he ever saw us in his court again.
That would lead me to believe that he would take seriously the pretty transparent use of these allegations to justify breaking contact and the breaking of the order.
However I still can't quite get my head around the fact that it seems that despite someone having had no charges against them, the allegation still has a material effect on the contact which will be allowed. It seems no different to being taken to court for a crime, being found not guilty but still being punished, i.e community service, fine, probation etc instead of prison. Is this the reality of the situation, will my daughter and I be punished by not being allowed to see each other as usual, despite me being completely innocent?
Just can't get my head round that, but need to be as aware as I can of the reality of the situation as it's obviously quite a tough concept to have to live with and if I can mitigate or avoid these unjust consequences in any way, I'd love to know how.
Thanks again
It's not always possible to get that level of judicial continuity unfortunately, but there's nothing to stop you asking for it. Bear in mind that it's been 5 yrs since you got the order and his situation may have changed.
The court will always err on the side of caution where there are serious safeguarding issues being introduced...they have a duty of care to the child, so the judge would order a raft of reports to help determine the truth... if your child has been coached to make these allegations, that's a big bridge to cross.
The level of proof required in civil court is less than would be required in a criminal case. A Finding of Fact hearing will hear the allegations and look at evidence, but if the judge feels there's some weight to the allegations he can find in favour of the party making the allegations, even with the flimsiest of evidence. Some judges might say that just because no further action is taken over an allegation, it doesn't mean it didn't happen.
We have members where allegations have been made, with police involvement and NFA taken, and they have managed to get their contact back in place. Hopefully, you will have the same result.