We understand that it's a difficult choice for you and we will do all we can to advise and support you. Stay strong.
Thank you Mojo for your advice and support I so much appreciate it,
I had my second interview with the programme tutor after ad long few questions again,
I said I will respect the judge decision about what he found ,
And informed her that i didn't put pressure on my ex about leaving our son with my family for a short while and I didn't even have the intention to do so but sometimes we do things without meaning it and maybe I put pressure on her without me knowing as the judge found ,
And told her I am open to take the programme if she thinks it's right,
Explained that the judge found that I am a nice man as written at the end of his judgment and she said she knows that
After too many questions again from her she said I don't think there was any violence or abuse in your relationship maybe it was misscommunication between you and your ex and I don't think this ( Domestic abuse prepetator programme ) will benefit you they call it ( building better relation programmer ) as well ,
She said she will write to cafcass and tell them that ( I am motivated to take the programme and want to do anything for your son but you are not suitable for this programme) and I can recommend other programme to start to build the trust between you and your ex things like co parenting programme or somthing to teach you more about communications things like that but I can't see there was any violence on your situation and she actually said she beleives me that I didn't have the intention to put any pressure on my ex and to be suitable for this programme I should of done this with intention ,
I have a hearing end of this month
My question now what will be cafcass officer reaction ??
Will she make another recommendation to the court or will leave it to the judge to decide??
Judge said last hearing see if you are suitable or not first then I will decide if your suitable how the contact will be during the course and if you are not suitable I will make my decision about how the contact will be,
Even we can go to contested hearing Or final hearing ,
Thanks you so much in advance for mojo and yoda for having the time to advice me,
I just would worry too much about it, I think she has assessed you based on the facts, you made it clear you were open to the programme if she felt it was right for you. It sounds to me that you just don’t meet the criteria. The fact that she is going to recommend another programme is positive.
All the best
Do you mean ( I just wouldn't worry about it ??))
Or would worry about it ?????
Yes exactly it sounds like I don't meet the criteria and she said that I will not benefit from this programme ,
And to be honest this programme is nothing to do with me and it will delay things for so long ,
So hopefully this will make things positive for me and move things forward and not the other way round,
I hope next hearing judge will move contact forward and take positive step ,
As I am making it clear to everyone I am ready and open to make everything possible to be able to spend more time with my son as I wanted ,
So hopefully they will understand this .
It's just scary situation because I don't know what will cafcass and the judge will decide after me being not suitable for the programme ,
Hopefully good decision
Sorry A.Dad, that should have said “I just wouldn’t worry about it”
Hopefully, if a different programme Is put forward, this will be considered by the court and other options for contact discussed at the next hearing... in the meantime try not to worry about what might or might not happen.
All the best
It sounds favourable for you that the programme tutor is going to make appropriate alternative suggestions to the court & it's likely the judge (not Cafcass) will decide the next steps.
Wishing you all the best for the hearing. Do let us know how you get on.
Hi Yoda and mojo and everyone ,
Had my hearing today and not very happy as nothing happened as usual,
Before the hearing My ex solicitor spoke to me and said we have seen now that you are not suitable for the programme so we will ask the judge for a final hearing ,
I told her what about moving the contact to supported contact untill the final hearing as you told me my ex agreed to move it to supported contact she said noo we can't agree about that now and it should be as it's untill the final hearing
I spoke to cafcass officer before the hearing and she said to be honest I am bit disappointed that you were not suitable as you demonstrated to me that you were ,
I explained to her that I was open with the programme tutor and the programme tutor decided I am not suitable because I didn't knowlodge that I shoved my ex or was aggressive to her and that our relation didn't have any domestic abuse,
I told her I can't admit somthing I didn't do, but she seen I was open and motivated to do the programme but not suitable,
She said she will still recommend the contact to move to supported contact but unfortunately she can't recommend more than that,
We went to the judge ,
The judge didn't know if I was suitable or not as he didn't read the report yet ,
We handed it for him he quickly read it and said ok I can see that we will need a hearing so we can list this case for a final hearing and for both parties to put their statements and evedince and next hearing we will have more time to talk,
He relisted it mid January,
I asked what if we can move the contact from supervised to supported untill the next hearing , his answer was that he can't make decision today if both parents are not agreed about it , I told him that my ex agreed last time we can move it to supported contact but she said no today and for the contact to stay the same,
I said the main concern for my ex was ( flight risk ) and I am doing all I can to reassure her,
Judge said he understand that and he has somthing to assist that but he will not talk about it now as next hearing we will have more time to listen to me and my ex.
Now I am bit disappointed that nothing is moving forward but i will have to wait untill mid January for the judge judgment for how the contact will be.
He asked me to write a statement stating my proposals and evedince,
I don't know what he means by evedince ,
Can Yoda and mojo and everyone who has experience advice me please what they think and what I should do ???
And while writing the statement what kind of proposals that I should put to be reasonable???
And what if the judge made his judgment and I am not satisfied with it ?
Can I appeal or ask for another hearing .
Many thanks in advance for your support
Sorry to hear that things didn't move forward today. Unfortunately, if parents can't agree then the court has to list a final hearing to deal with the matter so that you both have a fair hearing.
Is she writing her statement and you are responding to her or are you both having to submit your statements on the same day?
In terms of proposals, it's good to put forward an eventual schedule and include suggestions of how that can be reached.
If you don't like the decision the judge makes, you can only appeal if they make an error in law. You can't appeal just because you disagree with it.
Hi Yoda thank you for your answer,
Yes we both submitting the statements on the same day and judge said he will listen to both of us and then say his judgment on the same day,
It terms of proposals if I want to see my son 2 or 3 days a week how should I suggest that??
I mean 2 full days including over nights aswell,
How should I put this on my proposal to start step by step to get to this result ,
Does final hearing means that I will not be able to get any other hearing after that if I am not happy with the judgment ??
I have been a year now in supervised contact centre and all the reports are very positive ,
It's just recommended by cafcass to move to supported contact,
Do you think in my circumstances judge can order more contact in final hearing Or sometimes final hearing can still end by being in contact centre ,
Because I know courts don't prefer keeping the child in contact centres for long,
When I said I am doing all my best to reassure my ex that I will not take our son outside the country he said I understand and that he has somthing to assist with this but he will not talk about it today ??
Is that a good sign ???
Thinking is just killing me and I am so worried after 1 year and half fighting to spend time with my son,
The final hearing will keep things the same or just move it to supported contact which it will be awful,
I appreciate your advice Yoda.
Thank you so much
You need to check if your order limits the length of the statement you have been asked to provide. If it does specify a link, make sure you stick to it.
Your statement needs to lay out some background, why things have got to this point & what you are asking the court to do and why.
A bog standard arrangement might look like one day contact midweek, alternate weekend stays and a share of special occasions / holidays.
You could say "I am seeking an eventual order as detailed below, but do accept and understand it will take time to move from the current situation to that proposed" then you could make suggestions of how you think the schedule can progress.
A final hearing is final. That doesn't stop you returning to court if the mother breaches the order or if over time she won't agree to let contact progress.
Just to add, if you’ve been asked to provide evidence, you would mention in your statement that you have it and what it is and then attach it to the back of your statement. It might include things like the letters or emails you received from your embassy, or texts or emails from your ex that can show the situation wasn’t as she has told the court... anything that can prove your position really.
Have we given you the extra info and template about writing statements? Let me know and I’ll link them if you haven’t got them.
All the best
Hi mOjo,
I hops you are well and sorry for the long period without replying,
I am in thr process writing my statment ,
In the court order stated as follow,
a. A party’s statement may be prepared using the witness statement template which is available from the court or at https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/c120-eng.pdf
Do i have to use the witness statment template that the court provide its called C120,
it has certain questions,
Or i can just write my own statment say every thing i want to say???
You have asked,
Have we given your the extra info and template about writing a statment,
The answer is Noo
What is that?
Can you please give me the links??
I am really so stresaed because i don't know what should be said and whay shouldn't,
And i am so nervouse about the final judgment,
I see my son supersvised for over a year now and his mum can't agree to anymore contact and i know the court doesn't like to keep tje contact supervised foe long time??
Do i have any chance that the judge can give me unsupervised access???
If you also can give me more idea about what to write i will be thankful,
Thanks alot for you and yoda