Hello, I am really at a loss as to what I should do, and unfortunately the easy option is do nothing, but this has led me to not having any contact either by visits or telephone to my 3 young children, I desperately don’t want it this way but I am quite shy and I do lack confidence and I feel that my ex, they children’s mother is just in total control, I continue to pay the monthly maintenance and I never miss, so at present she has everything she wants, me paying money and me absent from the children’s lives completely
Ant advice is welcome
Thanks
hi,
so when you asked to see your children, what did she say?
I’ve copied and pasted my previous response to your last post from 4 months ago, below. You mentioned before that the children live a long distance from you, this does make it more difficult to see them, but not impossible.
Hi there
If you’ve read through previous threads here, it might help you see that this is more common that you’d think. The children have a right to have a relationship with both parents, of course you’re good enough to be their father... you just haven’t been in the right place to push it forward. You may have to jump through a few extra hoops to achieve contact, but it can be done.
When the mother told you that you could no longer have contact, was that out of the blue, or was there a reason given, or anything that precipitated her decision?
Is there a court order for contact in place? How old are your children?
Have you tried writing to her? That could be your first step and depending on her response, or lack of, your next step would be mediation, but with the distance between you that might prove difficult.
I would try contacting a mediator in the area where she lives and asking them, in light of the distance, if they would be prepared to sign off the form, to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order... but try writing to her first.
Court is daunting but doable, it would also have to be a court in her area, but we have had many members that have managed to Go through the process with much success. It’s always better to have a solicitor, but manageable without legal representation too.
Best of luck
Hi
This is pretty much the situation I’m in . When it’s like this it will always be so and your ex will always use your kids as leverage . Don’t do what I did and wait 2 years hoping it would change . Get a child arrangement order in place ASAP . You have to go to mediation 1st or show that your ex is unwilling to go . In my case she didn’t respond to the mediator at all . You then get the mediator to sign a form then you send. C100 to court . If you’re going to get representation get a direct access barrister . Far cheaper than going via a solicitor . Don’t let the ex annoy you as she’ll use that against you in court .
Hi there
Mojo has given you excellent advice - I would suggest that you really need to start the ball rolling.