Hi there,
Just found this site and feels like there are plenty of like minded dads having the same issues as me.
Can anyone offer any advice on getting access to my son's schools reports. I separated from my partner (unmarried) just as I was relocating my job. I now live 200 miles away, so difficult to get to his school. I'd really like to see how he's doing at school but can't get my partner to let me see his school reports. I'm also never informed about parents evenings, which I would attend if I had enough notice. Can I request to have the school send me information about my son? My partner insists that as we weren't married I have absolutely no right to any "private" information about our son. Is she right??
I pay full CSA payments every month and see my son for a weekend every month + odd weeks in the school holidays (costs a fortune in fuel, which CSA don't take into account!!). So can't see there is any reason to deny be access to information.
Thanks,
John
Hi Jon,
Most schools are happy to give you information such as school reports and news letters ect, My son's school (and I know most now do the same) opperates a txt system where they txt out any info needed, It's good as I get little snippetts of info that I cfan then talk to my son about on the phone.
The only issue to this is that as your ex is the main contact at the school they will contact her first before adding you to the distribution list and if she says no I'm not sure they would be able to add you.
Are any of your arrangements official ones, or just agreement between the 2 of you?
I have to say that as you are his father these things aren't private at all and you are righ to want to know how he's doing.
Darren
Thanks Darren,
I'll be ringing the school tomorrow. Hopefully they'll understand my need to know how he's doing. The feedback I get from his mother is a little vague at best. She's even mentioned that there were references to her in his last school report, so didn't want me to see it. Not quite sure why the school would mention her in his report though???
I've not pushed to get anything official as yet. His mother isn't too bad most of the time. I'd be a little worried about not being able to see my son on a specific day every month due the distance I have to travel and I may be away with work. I feel if we can manage access between us I'll have a bit of flexibility. I'm not sure if a legal aggreement might be too rigid and not allow for other circumstances.
Thanks for the feedback. It's reassuring to know other guys are out there with just the same issues as myself. It seems a common theme on this site that there are dads out there who love their kids and want to do everything they can for them, but always seems to get the rough end of the stick.
Cheers,
John
Hi John,
Good luck with the school lets hope you get what you should be getting.
Your right not to want to push for a legal agreement if you can avoid it as, as you say that may be too rigid for what you need.
Good luck keep us up-dated
Hi Darren,
Spoke to the school and they were quite happy to arrange for me to receive info on my son. I'm sure they'll speak to his mother to get her permission. Actually spoke to her the other day and told her I was going to speak to the school about access to his reports etc. I asked if she had a problem with this and was surprise that she was OK with it. Hopefully she'll honor this when the school talk to her. So hopefully a good result.
Thanks for the support Darren. It's difficult to talk to guys about these things down the pub or at work, so a forum like this is great to talk to like minded dads.
Hope everything is going OK for yourself.
Cheers,
John N
Hi john
That's great news, glad I could be of some help.
Darren