Hi thanks for looking at this for me, my ex partner is due on 29th October and we have recently separated, she is using all the reasons we broke up against me and a lot of vile accusations like im abusive and manipulative and various other things, it started i couldn't see my child alone because i could be a danger, now i cant be at the birth see her when she is born or just be around in general, i wanted to know if anybody has had a similar situation because im so emotionally invested and i have already had the worst year of my life no exaggeration with therapy and depression one thing and another, the whole year is getting worse and worse, i just don't want things to get worse between us because i do still love the girl but most importantly i want access to my daughter and not just an hour or 2 on weekends as i will never bond, there is no distance between us or housing issues, thanks in advance
Hi there
Until the baby has been born, I'm afraid you have no rights. Even after the birth it will be up to the mother what she will agree to.
General advice would be to keep a low profile during the rest of the pregnancy, let her know in writing that you respect her wishes but you are there for her and the baby if she needs anything.
Once the baby is born, things may settle down, but accept whatever contact she agrees, just to begin with. If things don't improve after the first couple of months, you can then think about trying mediation to sort a schedule of contact out, bearing in mind that it will probably begin with short visits, and as the baby grows in independence, contact time should increase.
Perhaps suggest that you both work on a parenting plan, you'll find further info about this in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle angle section.
If things haven't improved and mediation has failed you can apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order. If you've had very little contact, the court are likely to want a short period of supervised contact, but that will increase.
I would advise you to think about doing some parenting classes as a preparation for your child's arrival. This may help the mother to feel less anxious and will be looked at favourably if you go to court.
Best of luck