Dad dot info
Free online course for separated parents
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.
Free online course for separated parents
Clear all

[Solved] What do I do

New Member Registered

Without giving a long history of where I am today.

I've been married for 2.5 years, during that time I have left the relationship 3 times due to the person I fell in love with and the person to whom I've been married to being very different. I stress that each time I have walked is because I have exhausted or seen no other alternative.

I walked out for the 3rd time last week, behaviour changed massively and I asked her to do a pregnancy test which came back negative (or so we thought at the time) had it been positive at least there would have been some logical understanding to the erratic behaviour.

However it transpires that when putting the test in the bin it was in fact positive (I had walked by this point). Since then, another test has been done in my presence and she is in fact pregnant.

I'm happy I'm going to be a father and will not shy away from the emotional and financial upbringing that comes with it.

Here's the thing... Do I continue seperation from my wife now knowing there is my unborn child in loves, or do I re-engage with the relationship (if she agrees)?

I feel horrible and Imas there has always been friction between my wife and family, I know if I am to return I will be cut off from the family.

All the advice I am getting are from those that are to emotionally involved, so looking for some impartial advice with being told I horrible as only myself and my wife know what has happened in our marriage prior to this event.

Many Thanks

Topic starter Posted : 04/08/2019 10:14 pm
Famed Member


as she's pregnant, you should see that as an opportunity to mend your relationship. she will probably behave erratic, hormones all over the place. i dont think you should keep separate from her or be horrible. she will see that as abandonment, and must feel worse while babies coming along. try your best. otherwise, she may just vanish one day along with the baby.

Posted : 04/08/2019 10:19 pm
Illustrious Member Registered

H there

As you have acknowledged in your post, before you left you suggested that her recent change in behaviour could be due to were right, so I wonder... had you seen the test was positive at the time, would you have left?

A child does put a different slant on the situation, but unless you genuinely want your relationship to work, it shouldn’t be the only reason fo going back.

It might be worth suggesting some couples counselling to her, here’s a link to Relate

All the best

Posted : 05/08/2019 1:15 am
Estimable Member Registered

Hello, thank you for sharing. I would seek mediation counselling as soon as possible, and keep talking with your wife. Also seek advice from your midwife/health visitor about any support groups you can attend together to help you through the pre pregnancy stage.
All the best, Parent Support Volunteer, Fegans

Posted : 26/05/2020 3:43 pm
Active Member Registered

You're right her behavior was related to the period of pregnancy, and congratulations to be a father is very good, by the way who will be a boy or a girl?

Posted : 25/12/2020 12:47 pm

Pin It on Pinterest