Hi, I’ve been with my partner for just over 3 years. I’ve recently learnt that my girlfriend is pregnant and she is been a complete nightmare. I have recently got a new job and I’ve had to take a pay cut to start building a new career for us a couple. I’ve been working silly hours and overtime to make as much money as we both had the same goal as getting and house. Since I’ve got this new job she has started moaning saying I’m never at home and next thing she pregnant! I’ve not been at home and I have a feeling she stopped taking the pill without me knowing as I’ve not been around because of work.
Of course she knew I didn’t want a child yet even though I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship who I see on my days off and try to include my partner in our days but it’s hard as we work opposite shifts. Cut along story short she is now saying that I have to be with her and the new baby when it’s born and forget my daughter for a bit. I’m sorry but my daughter is my best friend and I’m not willing to give her up at all. I’m willing to expand and make my family a 4 even though I’m not happy about her been pregnant at all but I’m not going to give up my daughter.
I could just do with some advice or if I’m been in the wrong
hi there,
first of all when women are pregnant, their more likely to be nuttier :woohoo: their hormones are all over the place.their not thinking straight, so just be mindful of that.
it is hurtful for her to say she wants you to forget your daughter. try not to take it so personally. what will naturally happen is after the baby is born, you will be very busy, and you should spend extra time with your partner and the baby. it should not be such a big deal if you spend say 1 week without seeing your other daughter. some people go to extremes. they meet a new partner and just disappear for weeks/months on end, and their children have no idea what happened.
I disagree with the above.
The fact you suspect her of getting pregnant on purpose coupled with her statements about your other child are huge red flags in my opinion and would suggest you address these issues sooner rather than later.
Perhaps consider going to counselling with your partner?
Ask her how she would feel if that was her daughter being encouraged to lose her father perhaps.
So many minor problems become major problems if you just turn a blind eye and sweep them under the carpet.
hi ask her what she would do in your place?