Hi,
I have two children with my ex (6 and 4 years old), I have 50/50 shared custody of them granted through the courts and expecting another baby with my partner of 3 years any day now...
Strange question but we’re talking about getting a will written up in case anything were to happen to either of us.. Is there anything we can put in place in the event of my death to ensure that my two children still get to see mine and my partners baby?
Thanks!
Howdy Chris1231,
That's an interesting one!
I doubt you can outline contact arrangements in a will, which primarily deal with properties, assets and cash (and how you'd like these distributed). A will needs to be enforceable by a Court, and so you wouldn't typically be able to impose terms on a third party regarding where they are and how they spend their time. As your new partner wouldn't have parental rights to your first children by default, I personally don't see how that would be enforceable.
Even so, you may want to write down how important it is to you for all your children to have a healthy relationship with one another. It's important for children to know their family. And of course, as you're here and with us now (and hopefully for a long time to come) you can use your 50/50 time to promote this positive relationship with the siblings so that it becomes more a matter of choice for them over time to want to spend healthy amounts of time with their baby sibling.
Not sure what your relationship is like with your ex (will just consider that you went through the Courts to get your contact arrangements), but trying to help her appreciate your views would also be the path of least resistance for that eventuality. It is not about replacing either parent or diminishing their role, but only about the kids and their understanding of transitioning and new relationships that will ground them for life.
The ideal world would be every adult working together for children's best interests.
Amazing to see another dad with a fair proportion of time with their children. It's great to see the Courts adopting this position more and more (looking forward to the day when this is the rule and not the exception). We need more success stories like this talked about both in this forum and outside to keep encouraging the dad's that care and still fighting the good fight.
CD.
I agree, I don't think a wish such as this would be enforceable in a will, but it might well be able to be used by your partner if she wished to try for contact. I think the only sure way of getting this would be to try to get PR for your partner, but you'd need to discuss this with your ex to see if she's willing to allow this.