[Solved] Seeing my Son more
Not sure if this is in the write forum, apologies if it isn't
I am very new to this sort of thing and was wondering if i could have some opinions from more experienced people like yourselves.
My ex and I were having troubles, I wasn't very happy and was struggling with a bit of depression so she suggested I moved out to my mums house to see if that helped. Since I moved out we haven't had much contact apart from drop offs of my Son. The current arrangements are I have him every Wednesday 10am - 6pm and every Saturday 10am to Sunday 10am. I was happy with this arrangement as I knew it was only temporary and I would either move back home or get proper times sorted out.
This continued through lock down and Fathers day came round. I had assumed I would have him for my normal time but get to keep him all day on the Sunday as it was Fathers day. My ex was not happy with this and said I could only have him on the Sunday. This was the straw that broke the camels back and I decided it was time to sort out proper timings and get everything official.
I wrote an email to her suggesting what I deemed to be fair and in the best interest of our Son and she came back to my email reducing the time I currently have! Also suggested I have him from 3pm on Wednesday to 8am on Thursday and 10am Saturday to 6pm Sunday every other weekend. He goes to bed at 6pm and gets up about 7:30am - 8:00am which means I would only really see him for a few hours on the Wednesday.
The reason she suggested 3pm is because I work, However, I am fortunate enough to work from home and I am in a position where I can manage my time myself. I work before my Son arrives, during his 2 hour nap and when he goes down to bed at 6pm. The only exception is the rare occasion I have a meeting and then my Mum is here to look after him for that hour.
The main reason my ex doesn't want me to see my Son more than I do now is because she thinks it is not good for his upbringing for him to be away from her for more than 1 night at his age (he is 2). I have done a lot of research on this and believe this claim to be unfounded and just an excuse because she wants him to herself. We struggled to conceive him and when the miracle happened and we got him, my ex was totally besotted by him and wouldn't leave his side. Has anyone got any evidence of it being beneficial to a childs up bringing (at his age) to live with the mother 11.5 days out of 14?
We are going to go to mediation and by the looks of it, court but I was just wondering what the likely outcome would be from your experience?
Sorry for the long post and all the questions but I need some help
Hi, it actually looks as though you could have the good basis for an agreement to come out of mediation - I would see what comes out of that first. It's also worth both of you being a bit flexible, so that if, for instance, she wants a night out, you'll take your son at short notice. If you can work this out without going to court, it will be much easier for both of you.
if it went to court you would be able to get a better arrangement. standard arrangement is after school, fri- sun evening, every other weekend. there's also a good chance you having him for an overnight stay mid-week, if he has started nursery. can also get half of school holidays etc. try to reach these agreements at mediation stage.
as your work is very flexible, then it should be possible for you to see your child even more.
Thanks for your replies guys! I will let you know the outcome of our mediation
I would be happy to be flexible... It's how I want it to be! There's always going to be situations where one of us needs the other to look after him etc. I just hope see starts to see I'm an equal partner in bringing up our son!
Thanks again guys