Hey all,
Just after some advice really.
My first is on the way and I couldn't be more excited! My beautiful girlfriend is amazing and really into having the child and reading and researching everything. She is built to be a mother.
The issue is when we found out we had a sproglet on the way, she told me she was happy with me getting as involved as I want. I was over the moon because I, like every one of you, aim to be the best daddy in the world, from the word go!
A month down the line she now says she doesn't want me in the room when we get there, she doesn't talk to me about how she feels, I'm always in the wrong and in trouble for something?
I'll admit, when she snaps, I can snap back and immediately regret it.
She is amazing when she is affectionate and encouraging but now she's going back on what she says.
I try to be understanding and I know she is confused and has so many different ideas that change hourly but I can't keep up and then am in trouble fpr not.
Also, I feel like I'm the one doing all the loving and caring and she shows the love when she wants something.
I'm losing my mind!! What did you guys do when you went through similar things?
Thanks
Hi MattyP,
Thanks for being so open & honest. It sounds like this is a hard adjustment for you. Just to put your mind at ease, it pretty much is for everyone. It can be a pretty emotional time, with ups & downs.
I'd firstly encourage you that it's great that you want to be so involved. That baby's going to be one loved kid!! Here's some ideas that mightbe helpful:
-Book some time in to talk about your baby together, maybe over a meal out or a takeaway in. Let her know how excited you were when she told you that she wanted you to be involved with the baby. Ask her what she thinks your involvement means? You guys may have different ideas to each other & you may find it helpful to chat those through, working out how you can feel more involved in the pregnancy whilst being sensitive to the changes she's going through.
-Try and understand that she is going through lost of changes emotionally, physically & hormonally.
-Chat through some of the dissappointments you've had about not being in the room etc..(I'm guessing you mean when the babies born) bit by bit. Ask questions as to why she feels a certain way & let her know what you were hoping for & why.
-Check out some previous posts on Dad Talk re other new Dads in your situation
Be great to hear how you get on. You are not alone!!
Springchicken