[Solved] What are the biggest challenges for expectant and new dads?

I'm not sure if mine are too 'heavy' for your book, so I apologise in advance! 😆

1) Attitudes towards fathers from the health service. I don't think they always realise the attitude they put out, but the focus in most pregnancy care is on the mother. Obviously this isn't a bad thing in a way, but at the same time there is a need for fathers-to-be to be included, especially as they are a vital support to the mother-to-be. For example, evening and weekend antenatal classes are pretty much non-existent, and if you want to attend you need to rely on getting time off work.

2) Paternity leave rights. Fathers should have more time allocated off work to help and support their family. The lack of leave means that many men miss out on learning how to care for a child, which affects their confidence in later tasks and reinforces the stigma that women are better at raising children. I am also a strong believer that if the female wishes to return to work (not all men are the main breadwinner in the family any more!) the father should be allowed to take on her leave.

3) Fathers being made to leave delivery suites when they have just had a baby as 'visiting time is up'. I was lucky - my son was born at 2.54am by emergency caesarean and the midwives were good enough to allow me to stay in a chair next to my wife. My neighbour two doors down wasn't so lucky when his daughter was born two months later - he was asked to leave 15 minutes after the birth of his first child. What message does this send to fathers?

4) Not always being able to talk to other men (especially those without their own children) about your child. I work in a very small office where none of my colleagues have kids. My boss, who is very much a family man and is great to talk to about my son's development, is working from home a lot at the moment as he has a large workload. I've found that if I talk to fellow 'blokes' about my child they don't always get why I'm excited about something such as him being able to pass a toy from one hand to the other (they still poke fun at that one now). Today my wife showed me how my son can now pick up his tumbler and drink from it all by himself - I was proud but know that if I mention it tomorrow I won't get the reaction I'd want.

This isn't a major issue really, more just office mickey-taking that I can deal with, but I can imagine that if other new dads, especially young ones, feel they have no-one to share the trials and tribulations of being a parent it must be tough.

5) Baby changing facilities often being in the ladies' toilets!!!!

I personally found the task of deciding upon which pushchairs are best to buy one of the most frustrating preparatory things- it's incredibly hard to get to the bottom of all the conflicting information around baby pushchairs online..

Thanks guys for your responses and apologies for not getting in touch sooner - the email account I registered with has been invaded by gremlins but sorted now!

Some really interesting points there which have been identified by others too - I'll post the ebook in a week or two when finished.

Thanks again

Nick

I personally found the task of deciding upon which pushchairs are best to buy one of the most frustrating preparatory things- it's incredibly hard to get to the bottom of all the conflicting information around baby pushchairs online..

I found deciding on the best pushchair/travel system was really therapeutic, it's a real man's job. There was information to find, opinions to be sought, and best of all... road testing! 😆

Not many pushchairs passed my famous 'wobble test', aka a stability test. It's easy to do - grab the handle/handles and shake it, see how long it continues to wobble for. You'll be amazed how many look pretty flimsy when you apply this test.

i agree with most of the above, especially the lack of info and support for new dads from the NHS.

There are a few websites out there, such as this one, that offer support and advice for dads, but there needs to be a central point of information available nationwide where expentant and new fathers can gain access to info, support and backup if needed. Currently, there are loads of websites with conflicting info on them, which adds to the "who do you believe" quandry...

As a new dad, i surf around and tend to go with the advice put across by the majority of website, but even so, i'm still confused as to what is right and what is wrong. Im pretty sure i'll get it right eventually, but untill then, ill carry on being the worrying new dad i am now.