Ok my 12 year old has been on at me about sleep overs and i don't know what to do.. We generally say, only in the holidays, and then if we do allow them we try and have them at ours so we have some 'control'...
Anyway she went to a friends for a sleep over a couple of weeks ago and it turned out they'd all fallen out and not sure it was the best time. Tonight we had a right royal to-do because she wanted to go to a friend i don't really trust.. I said no but am lost on a policy...
It wasn't really something we did as kids, and when we did it we went camping or something...
Any thoughts?
Personally - lots of hassle for very tired kids... Don't see the point - take 'em out or do something together.... Like camping - at least that is something you can do with them
Ron
Again, thanks to my wife (present, not ex) for this information as I found it very useful.
First, you need to know the parent(s) of the child they are going to stay with - that way you have confidence that your child is going to be safe.
Second, have a 'code' phrase that your child can use if they contact you which means that they want you to come and pick them up (a child may not feel safe ringing you to say she want's to come home) the one my wife used was that if her daughter felt unsafe, then she was to ring up and say that she'd forgotten her asthma inhaler (she didn't have asthma or inhaler) and could my wife take it round.
The trick (in any situation) is to plan ahead for any eventuality where you child may not feel safe - that way you both have peace of mind.
Make them realize that it's not so good for a kids like them to sleep over into someone else place even if it was a friends place.
Find time to know what are the things that interests your child so that you will be able to make them stay at home by doing the stuffs they love to do. It will surely make them feel that they don't want to go to other places just to have that stuff they wanted
We've been through the sleepover phase with our kids and it is normally quite the reverse, there is no sleep! We often used to end up with grumpy, tired kids the next day. Save sleepovers for holidays and then limit the numbers. If you're not sure of your childrens' friends, get to know them first by inviting them to your house.
It's hard when they go to secondary school as you tend to have less contact with other parents. Sometimes you have to trust your kids and their choices. Sometimes they make the wrong ones, but they usually learn from it. I think the idea of a code word is a good one. We always stressed to our kids if they weren't happy to text or call, whichever was the most discreet and we'd pick them up, whatever the hour.