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[Solved] Teenager Daughter Problems

 
Fatgoose
(@Fatgoose)
New Member Registered

Hi, my wife and I are increasingly worriex about our daughter, the trouble is are we being over protective or not....?

Our daughter will be 15 next month and over the past year has started wearing more and more make up, whilst also starting to use fake tanning cream. Her appearance is now more of a 16-17 Yr old. This alone might not be a problem, but she is obsessed with social media, posting selfies with filters and poses etc, Aside from making her look a little orange, her posts are verging on being a bit suggestive. We are increasingly concerned that she is displaying a persona of someone she isn't, with the potential to attract the wrong type of attention. She's actually quite sensitive albeit outgoing at the same time, but a warm hearted caring girl.

Despite this she is difficult to talk to and very sensitive about any comments we might make, spending most of her school evenings in her room 'on her phone'. She has plenty of friends and sees them regularly, but thankfully she's not the type that just goes out for sakes sake, hanging around.

Our worry is where all this is going. Has anyone else experienced this and how did you deal with it?

Thanks.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 16/10/2019 2:48 am
Bill337
(@bill337)
Famed Member

hi,

my kids are too young. but looking around, this social media stuff is far too common. zombie children everywhere, glued to their phones.

check out: How To Deal With A Difficult Teenager

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bf_aZdGoISo

Managing Teen Sexual Risk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMg8ynW2ZtU

ReplyQuote
Posted : 17/10/2019 1:40 am
Clarinet
(@clarinet)
Estimable Member Registered

Hello Fatgoose,

My husband and I have a 15 year old daughter, and whilst we don't yet have the issue with the make-up, as she's not really into that, we do sometimes struggle with the mobile phone issue.
Things we have found that work are:
At meal times, leaving all our phones somewhere else away from the meal table.
When she goes to bed at night I ask her to leave the phone downstairs with me. I don't look at it, but neither am I now fobbed off with " I need to put it on charge" anymore! After initial strops, she does albeit reluctantly give us her phone and goes off to her room.
We sat down and explained to her why we did this, and thankfully we have a good support network at our church, and the Youth group have talked a lot to them about the pros and cons of how they portray themselves on social media etc.
It is a tricky time at 15, as the old hormones are up and down, and they are trying to establish their way in life. But they are still children too, and I find sometimes you can't say the right thing no matter how calmly you may do it! So try not to worry, spend some one on one time with your daughter perhaps doing an activity she likes doing, and keep encouraging her. There are a couple of great family based charities with practical advice on issues like this. You can find them online. They are: Fegans and Care For The Family.
I wish you all well. Kind Regards, Fegans Parent Support Volunteer.

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Posted : 23/06/2020 3:37 pm
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