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[Solved] Catch 22 /-:

Eminent Member Registered

Hello all
I’m in a situation where I just don’t see a good way out of.

I moved out of the family home in April last year. I managed to come to a agreement with the ex and had a solicitor draw it up and after some stalling on her part she signed the papers.
In the meantime the solicitor who was working on my case left the firm and they got a locum in to work on the cases including mine.
When I singend the Papers he forgot to have me sign the declaration of truth.
I then got the decree absolute issued in April this year.
When I enquired where it was, a couple of weeks after they told me about the decree absolute, it transpired thar it went missing in the post because they sent it by 2. class Royal Mail ....... At the same time I also found out about the consent order still sitting at the court because of the signature missing on one of the papers.
In the meantime I found out about some money the ex had stashed away and inherited since her mum passed away last year.
Unfortunately the matrimonial debts are in my name (credit cards of which I was the primary card holder and she had an additional card), and the savings we had are in her name .....
I took on the debts to reduce the 50/50 split of my pension that she wanted.
We never bought any property and therefore there are no other assets.
When we met she was working but gave up the job when the kid (17 now) was born.
Before I moved out she was studying to become a teacher and she graduated last year.
She took on a student loan and used that during our negotiations against the debt I took on.
But after some research it transpires that, with her age (50) , she will hardly be paying off the full loan in her lifetime.
I also pay child maintenance of 350£ pcm. She said the child cost 700£ pcm and we should split it 50/50 which I was happy to do but in hindsight and finding out that she still receives child maintenance, her part is much smaller than what I pay every month.
My new girlfriend is living abroad and is pregnant and I need to support her. I started living abroad with her and have to fly back and forth to the UK for work.
Surely these things need to be considered in a new consent order/ agreement.
The issue is that the solicitor who was working on my case has now shut down the family law department and I can’t afford starting all over again with a new solicitor. Also I don’t know if the court might think that my pension has to be split 50/50 , which apparently is more often than not the case in the uk , going by different blogs and accounts online.
I could just sign the consent order that lies at the court but I think i deserve a better deal.
What do you think my options are ?
I’m getting stressed about this situation and don’t know what to do

Topic starter Posted : 25/06/2019 8:37 pm
Famed Member


I would advise to be very careful about CMS. officially:

When child maintenance payments stop

Child maintenance payments usually stop when the child reaches 16 (or 20 if they’re in full-time education up to A-level or equivalent).

Child maintenance can also stop if, for example:

the child stops being eligible for Child Benefit
the parent being paid stops being the child’s main carer
the parent being paid doesn’t want it any more
either parent dies
the paying parent is eligible for the ‘nil rate’, eg because they’re a student or a prisoner

Posted : 26/06/2019 12:21 am

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