House Equity - Agreements broken - next steps

Hi

My story and journey are likely, the same as many others although I am fortunate that, eventually, the system worked, and the children are safe and have contact with both parents.

The children are safe now – this was not the case 3 years ago – and was all consuming.

The detriment to my mental health, my finances and my ability to simply cope with life moving forwards has been immense. Life does not prepare you for court and a high conflict ex-partner.

Fortunately, I have had a great deal of support through various agencies and have, so far, managed to survive.

I did not qualify for legal aid and after representing myself initially and due to the complete whitewashing, I received in court at the start I had to instruct a solicitor.

I now realise that if I had, rather than ‘put complete trust in the system’ and had taken the time to stand back, understand the system, understand progression, understand the flow and what each hearing is for, then I now would not be in debt to the tune of £80k. Hindsight is amazing, but, I was not in a place to be able do those things. My children were being hurt (physically and emotionally) and I was unable to protect or even see them for 4 months following her allegations the FHDR and DRA.

This is the bit that I could do with some advice on.

After the first couple of hearings, where I represented myself, a friend stepped in an offered the money for me to appoint a solicitor. At this time the ex had agreed to purchasing (at a much-reduced cost) my share in the house. I gratefully accepted the loan and appointed a solicitor – cost soon spiralled, hearings, emergency hearings etc and this loan hit £80K.

Needless to say, despite accepting her offer for my equity share in Jan 21, it then took her until august 22 to appoint a conveyancing solicitor, she then haggled for a further reduction requiring new paperwork and promised to pay by December 22. Needless to say, she has now welched on this, did not sign the paperwork and is now wanting to re-negotiate.

My friend, unfortunately, passed away shortly after 2^nd lockdown having succumbed to an aggressive cancer. I now owe the money to his widow and for my own sanity need this resolved.

Notice of intent to make an application for sale has been served twice now.

Whilst there is a shared care order in place the children live with me.

Should I just get this into court now? And, if so, what is the best way to proceed speedily?

I cannot afford to take any lower figure for my equity. Also, to add insult, all investments made, whilst we were together were made in her or her family’s name – just using my money. Yup, what an idiot, yes, I was warned, no I did not listen. Thankfully I’m still in counselling.

I cannot face further drawn out proceedings, and know, even if sale is ordered there will be the need for further proceedings to get her to sign…………………but, what can I do?

Any help, advice, real life experience would be greatly received.

I know there is no magic wand.