[Solved] 1st Court Date

Hi There,

It's a little more than the 30 mins, how it works is you have 30 min time slot, others will have the same 30 min time slot too and you will go in and out a few times whilst you are there, you will probably meet with cafcass and discuss things with them and the judge will hopefully make an interim order that benifits.

Darren

Thanks Darren,
I've been told that CAFCASS will phone me before the court date to discuss my reasons for taking this to court and my concerns about the welfare of my son.
Knowing my ex-wife, she would object to an interim order if it meant access without her present.
If the court decided that the objection wasn't valid, she'd not stick to the interim order. Put it this way, when someone in her family was being investigated by the police, the family sent him to Pakistan for a while until the investigation was happening & they got the charges removed before bringing him back.

Hi There,

When the interim order is placed I would stress to the judge your concerns that your ex will stick to it, explain your concerns over your ex and that she may leave the country and I'm sure the judge will take this into account.

Cafcass will probably call you before the court date but will probably also see you on the day.

Darren

The 1st day at court went as expected.
Since CAFCASS hadn't got hold of my ex before the court date, they had to talk to her, then me (for 20 minutes), then her again. My solicitor talked to her Barrister (why she employed a barrister is anyones gues for the initial hearing). In all, it was almost 3 hours late to see the inside of the court room.
Her request to CAFCASS was that I would only see my son at a contact centre, supervised, for 60 minutes at a time, I believe every 3-4 weeks. Her reason was that our son get's stressed when he's away from his mum - mainly because he's never out of her sight & hasn't been since birth. As far as I know, the 4 hours at court was the longest she's been apart from him in 14 months.

My solicitor objected to that, since I've never been a risk to my ex or my son. Why was I being treated as such.
The CAFCASS person, did say that "CAFCASS don't recommend over-night stays with the non-resident parent until the child is 5 years old".
My heart sank.
At that point, we just tried for the best that we could do, I asked for every 3rd Sunday, for 90 minutes (unsupervised) in a contact centre preferably part way between where I live (where our son was born & the place that the ex & I lived) and where the ex decided to move to.
CAFCASS stated that it wasn't in the child's interest to travel, so I would have to do the full drive to a contact centre near the ex.

CAFCASS had the 2nd meeting with the ex to inform her of what the new plan would be, an extra 30 minutes and every 3rd week instead of once a month, unsupervised instead of my ex being in the same room. Then CAFCASS met with the judge.

It would appear that my ex objected to the new plan to the extent that the CAFCASS worker saw how unfair the ex was being. The judge ruled that I can see my son, unsupervised for 75 of the 90 minutes (with the ex present for the other 15 minutes). Since it's better for our son to be in familiar surroundings for the time, it has to be at the house where the ex & our son live. But none of her family are allowed to be at the house when I'm there.

Her barrister claimed that I'm not healthy enough to look after my son for a whole 90 minutes. (Surely I'm able to look after my son for 90 minutes, they've been quite comfortable for me to drive up to 7 hours to see my son) Even though the Specialist Stroke Consultant that had treated me had supplied a letter saying I'm perfectly capable. "That's just a G.P.'s view. I want a full health assessment". The judge saw no need.

So all in all, I thought the day went as well as it could have gone. My Solicitor and the ex's barrister were requested to agree "appropriate and suitable" visiting times.
Since I work a full week & the journey is a 320 mile round trip, Saturday & Sunday between 11:00 and 16:00 were offered by me. My ex doesn't work at all. Over a week later, and after a few unanswered calls and mails from my solicitor to her's, I was told Sunday at 10:00 - simply showing that she's still being awkward. I'll do it to see my son.

hi there 🙂

...I think on the whole the outcome is encouraging, and with patience over time, I think you can expect contact to increase and encompass overnight stays. Would you have to apply again to get contact increased or has another hearing at a later date been agreed?

Hi NannyJane
There's another court date set in January.
Hopefully, a plan will be laid out in that hearing to increase the length of access and the place, so at least I could take my son to a park or somewhere where my friends and family could see him.

I'm not try for custody, just a reasonable time with him. I'm asking for every 3rd weekend from Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon, plus Christmas & Easter (as my ex & her family are Muslim) and maybe 2 weeks in summer (as he gets older) to take him on holiday.
I'd love more than that, but because if the distance my ex decided to move by, it's not feasable.

As far as I know, I'm likely to get awarded at least what I'm asking for by the courts in the long run, but that could take a long time & a lot of money. Surely the ex's barrister would have told her that - but I guess he's thinking more of his yacht than what's best for the human's invoved.
It's just a shame that my ex hasn't realised that we'll both spend a lot of money that could have been better used on the upbringing of our son.

...Well January isnt that far ahead so hopefully it will go to plan and you will be able to start the bonding process with your family and friends. 🙂

I think the fact that you have stayed calm and reasonable and what you have asked for is realistic, you will get to a point that you can be happy with.

"Mighty oaks from tiny acorns grow..."