[Solved] Advice needed please.

Hi j1626

I'm sure nobody will mind you posting on here and I certainly don't!

I would suggest that your partner formally write to his ex partner outlining the contact that he would like. He should ask for a written response within 28 days. He should also ask that she confirm whether or not she would be prepared to attend mediation, if she cannot agree to his contact request.

Wait and see what response you get. If she agrees to mediation your partner should seek some availability from her. However, if she proves difficult the best thing might be for him to book it, invite her and wait to see if she attends. If she fails to attend the mediator can give your partner a certificate to confirm his partner failed to attend mediation (mediation and the certificate costs but not a lot, just over £100)

If she either fails to respond or doesn't attend mediation if's an application to Court. The process doesn't have to be expensive. And there are cheaper alternatives to solicitors.

Doug De-St-Aubin

Hi Doug, thank you for your prompt reply.

He has already done that and she has refused to attend and the mediators are offering the certificate which my partner is dealing with now. What would be the next steps from here and how would he go about finding out the information?

Thank you

The next step would be for him to make an application to Court for a Contact Order. He can either do this himself or use a solicitor. If he wants to submit the application form himself he can download this from www.gov.uk, he needs the C100 form. I would also advise that he download the leaflet CB1 which will tell him how to complete the form. Once the form is complete he should hand this in to his local County Court with the fee of £200. He should also read form EX160A to see if he is eligible for any financial support towards the £200 Court fee.

Regards
Doug De-St-Aubin

Hi there 🙂

Self representing is very doable and you will find lots of info on here, there are many Dads that have taken this route so you will get lots of advice and support, and its free!

If you take a look at the top of the Legal Eagle section you will see a couple of stickys about representing yourself in court , and also one about the C100 form. The certificate from the Mediator is known as the form FM1 and you will need to submit it to the court with the C100 form.

Apparently she has done a u-turn and is now going to attend mediation. This woman changes her mind more often than her pants, frustrating. I fear after my partner's experiences thus far that they will struggle to reach a compromise in mediation so this information is extremely helpful for him to prepare for the next steps, thank you. My heart goes out to all the people struggling to have access to their children on here after reading some of their experiences. I split with my kids Dad 10 years ago and have always given him unlimited access because I didn't have a relationship with my own father, some of these women wouldn't do this if they knew the consequences to the child.

Fingers crossed that mediation sees an end to your partners struggles. Perhaps his ex has had a change of heart because she realises the road she is heading down, nobody wants to go through the legal system, it's emotionally draining and can be expensive.

I hope it all goes well

Regards
Doug De-St-Aubin

I agree j1626 if only these women understood the consequences of their actions!

At least if Mediation fails your partner will have the form FM1 to show that he has tried to resolve things.

Thank you Nanny Jane

Are there any sections on here with advice on attending Mediation, what to expect, what to prepare etc?

Regards

Hi

There's this in the advice and support section - worth a read through, but come back with any questions as there are a few on here who have been through it.

http://www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/fathers-rights-and-law/mediation-services-for-fathers-in-divorce

Thank you, I am sure he will find this really helpful. I'm just trying to find out everything I can to help support my partner, feeling rather useless in such emotional circumstances as they're not my issues to resolve although of course they effect our home, our relationship and my two teenage children, it's a fine line between offering support/advice and feeling like it's none of my business.

Being there to support your partner is far, far from being useless - my present wife was the biggest factor in my getting through the residence and contact issues with my ex wife, if it hand't been for her, I'm not convinced that I would have got the best outcome for me or my children. Don't underestimate your value - but also accept that your partner may not always take your advice, doesn't mean he doesn't value it.

Thank you, that's nice to hear and I'm glad you have resolved your situation in an agreeable manner for you and your children.

You're absolutely correct, this is why I'm trying to help gather facts and information to assist him rather than offering emotional advice, because of my own experiences I am able to see things from the Mum's point of view but find this woman so frustrating as she just cannot see her daughter needs a relationship with her Dad beyond 3 hours of access on a Sunday, frequently at the maternal grandparents house (where they live, she's 33 years old). This is usually weather dependant or if his daughter has a sniffle (this seems to be every other week) then she will let him visit but not permit him to take her for lunch / activities.

Forgot to add that we live an hours drive away from them & my partner doesn't drive so I end up doing the driving and he has been told under no circumstances am I to be anywhere near her home. I wasn't involved in their split, we met almost a year after it.

Sorry this is probably not the correct section to digress about personal feelings, just good to get it off my chest :unsure:

I agree with everything actd has said...It absolutely fine for you to share a little more of your situation, you sound like a very caring and supportive partner and he is lucky to have you by his side...but I bet he knows that! 😉

You might like to have a look at the Mediation website, heres a link to it, its quite an informative website with a lot of content -

www.nfm.org.uk

Best of luck 🙂

.... I'm glad you have resolved your situation in an agreeable manner for you and your children.

My ex didn't find the outcome so agreeable - but I went through [censored] and back to get there, though I have heard worse on this forum since I joined. Little things can be a big help when you are going through it - sometimes listening is all it takes.