So fed up with all of this.
I had a MIAM who signed off my c100 as he though mediation would not work between us. The courts accepted the c100. At CAFCASS interview my ex more or less demanded mediation and apparently only face to face, we do not spend time alone together due to her past history of false lies and accusations. No safeguarding but CAFCASS recommended mediation between us, the court agreed. CAFCASS were made aware that I had attended a MIAM, but in their report they put MIAM excempt as per previous court case! As I had already had a MIAM I told my ex I would make contact with same mediator re mediation, she never replied. I then got a phone call from a mediator she had found and wants to use. I told them about me telling ex I was contacting previous mediator, they knew about this. I then got a email from ex, stating why would she want to us a mediator who had signed off the c100 stating mediation would not work between us, based on my answers to his questions. Also she insinuated that we knew each other because he lives near a relative of mine! She also demands face to face only. I think this is so wrong and disrespectful to the mediator.
so what now, do I just go with her mediator, pay for another MIAM and no doubt sit through loads of mediation while she drags everything back up from last 9:years. Do I have to agree to face to face, even the court hearing is being doing over the phone, the CAFCASS report doesn’t say face to face only.
can I say to the mediator that mediation should only be about the matter in hand, which is to vary the current child arrangement order? 7 years ago The courts said that a line was now drawn and that they would not listen to these old issues again. What would the courts think of this. I don’t suppose CAFCASS would get involved as case closed no safeguarding.
if we don’t qualify for the voucher scheme suggested by CAFCASS it’s going to cost a fortune. There is a lot more to this, I have emails where she says hereself that mediators are not legal bodies. She will never agree to the changes I am requesting. It all seems a waste of time and money.
Sorry this is so long and help appreciated,
hi,
I would suggest to find a mediator that offers the government vouchers scheme. one told me if I wanted to take part, have to pay about £100 for initial meeting, then if ex agrees to take part, then the vouchers will be used. so at present is your c100 application still open and hearings are happening?
also can you give little background as to why you are varying your CAO?
@bill337 hello yes the hearing is in July. The current CAO has been in place 7years, my child is now older and the one overnight each week is not enough for him or me. He stays overnight Tuesday, then all weekend then Thursday following week. I’d like a week about so that it will feel like we are having good quality time together, back and forth to school, homework, more easily make plans for us to meet up with family, friends, allow him to have routine.
I’ve had 2 MIAMS both mediators said mediation would not work for us. She will never agree to the week about. She does agree that the one overnight doesn’t work for our child, but I think she would rather I have it up and just had every other weekend. He chosen mediator keeps phoning me about me having a MIAM with them. I’ve told them I had one already for this case, they just keep saying you must have one with us. I’ve told them to give my ex one then let me know if they think mediation will work between us. My ex has had her MIAM but no one will tell me outcome. I know that my ex will want to go over the last 7 years, where I think any mediation should just be about the reason for the court case application, the week about.
l have now phoned the court about this, they told me that mediation was not court ordered, it was a recommendation.
At the end of the day I had a MIAM, the c100 was signed off and a court date given. My ex wants mediation so doesn’t agree with my mediator decision, so gone to another mediator. When I spoke to the booking person for this mediator she agreed that mediation probably wouldn’t work, but she wouldn’t put it in writing. I asked for a 2 minute talk with the mediator, I was told no you have to pay.
I’m thinking of just waiting for the court hearing. And detailing my reason for not having another MIAM in my statement ?
@warhammer hi when was last time you sat the MIAM? it is valid for 4 months from the date you sat it. generally if you sit 1 MIAM, then you have fulfilled the legal requirement to make a c100 application. sounds like a waste of time, where your ex keeps changing mediators or changing her mind. you could wait for the hearing and explain that your ex is being unreasonable and very difficult about engaging mediation, and mediator told you they think mediation is unsuitable for both of you.
