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Hi Dads
I am a parent with 50/50 care of my two children and live in Swansea. JD (Boy) 15 and TJ (Girl) 12. My ex-wife have recently enrolled TJ 12 in the Sea Cadets and she attend every Tuesday and Friday when she is with her Mum. My ex-wife have also consented for TJ to attend a 5-day sailing course at HMS Caledonia in Rosyth, Scotland. The visit starts on the 21st July 2013 and finishes on 25th July 2013.
My access with the children is 15.30 on Tuesday 26th July 2013 till 15.30 Friday 2013. The trip takes 9-10 hours by train and she will be accompanied by a Sea Cadet Instructor and a 16 year old Sea Cadet. I do not wish for my daughter to attend this course as I feel it is rather a lengthy travelling arrangement for a 12 year old to endure. My ex-wife don't share my concern and want to send our daughter to Scotland. Please advise me whether I could contact the Sea Cadet directly and refuse consent. What are the implication?
Regards
Altz
Hi Altz
I can understand your concerns but have you spoken with your daughter about the trip?
I note that the timings do not conflict with when you would normally have the children with you so you could argue that you are not losing out on contact.
As kids get older I think you should expect more of this type of trip which is likely to be an inconvenience to the parents but hopefully developmental to the child. I know I was an air cadet and did a lot of traveling with the RAF between 13-16 yrs of age and it was all good. This included going to an airbase in Germany for a week which was an experience.
If your daughter wants to go then I suggest you are supportive. As she will not be travelling alone it should be fine from a safety perspective and hopefully she will enjoy the few days away and come back to spend time with you and tell you all about it.
DD
I think you should speak to TJ first. Do you know why they are going to Scotland? I mean is a specific course or test or just for fun?
You do have to be so careful about refusing consent because you can come across as being the unfair/wrong parent by not letting her go.
I can appreciate the way you feel, so I think you should contact the Sea Cadets group and discuss it with them, find out a bit more about it and get their reassurances. Ask for information about the travelling and the accommodation and the level of supervision.This might put your mind at rest.
As it is a sailing course it will be well supervised I'm sure and she will be with experienced adults as well as other children. Although we always worry about our children we have to let them go out into the world and have their own experiences, as long as we do all we can to try and make sure they are safe. 🙂
Hi Altz
My personal opinion is that you should let her go - I think it will be a good learning experience for her and well supervised, and I'd say the age is about right. I would, however, try to negotiate some alternative time with her.
I think I agree with the others stopping her going would probably cuase lots of issues and it seems like it would be a good trip to go on.
If you talk to the cadets they may need supervisors to go along and help out if you are able to spare the time you could offer to go along with them.
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