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Hi all,
I am new to all this blog stuff and could really do with some advise please?
Right first thing me and my ex split up 6 years ago when our daughter was 18 months old. For the past 6 years I have payed my way every week and now we go though the csa. I have had my daughter every other weekend and every Tuesday and Thursday evening for a few hours I take her home at 7 o'clock, with my job now it has become more difficult to collect my daughter at a reasonable time, before this has never been a problem as long as I let her know if I am coming and what time. With my work I am job and finish some times 2/3 o'clock in the after noon and some times maybe 6/7 o'clock. Now she is saying I have to have my daughter bank holidays and if I can't get her on Tuesday or Thursday I have to pay to put her in after school clubs??? Is this some thing she can do? I do work bank holidays so for me this is not possible.
I do have my daughter for 2 weeks a year for holidays or just us time I get 4 weeks holiday a year and I half that with my daughter, my ex is now saying that this is not good enough and wants more. She has said I am not a load to see my daughter until I take her to court or agree to all the terms.
My ex has said she wants to get a job again and that I will have to do my fair share with child care. This is not possible for me to do with a full time job that only just pays the bills,rent and maintenance.
Can a court make me have my daughter more than I all ready do?
Hi
No, a court can make a contact order which states when you CAN have contact, but they can't and won't force you to have contact. If your ex is being unreasonable, then the first step should be mediation to see if you can come to an arrangement, and if not, then it could go to court to get a defined contact order - the court will take account of your work pattern, though you are in a more unusual position on here in that most dads are battling with their ex to get more contact.
Assuming your ex has residence, then you only have to pay according to the CSA calculation and that covers everything - any extra you pay is voluntary. Likewise, a family based arrangement isn't legally binding but you could go for this if you can come to an agreement of what you are to pay.
Thank you for your help. I have tried to talk to her about this but no she is having non of it and thinks I have to have my daughter a lot more then I all ready do. It's hard that she has stopped me seeing my daughter as for the past 6 years I have always seen her at least twice a week and every other weekend.
Thank you for your help
take a look at www.nfm.org.uk
Also have a read of the two guides to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle section to give you an idea of the court process - if she is stopping you from seeing your daughter, then if mediation fails, the contact order will determine the contact that she should adhere to.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
