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Need some advice please.
Divorce is now inevitable and my wife wants to stay in the martimonial home.
She can't afford the bills let alone the mortgage on her own. We are trying to split amicably and I have offered to continue to pay the mortgage (for the next 5 years) at the current level until my youngest son turns18, at which time I want the house sold and proceeds divided as agreed.
My problem is that I refuse to pay for someone else to live in a house that I am paying for. I'd rather cease payments and let the house be repossessed. As it is I cannot get another mortgage until the house is sold as all my earnings are tied into the current mortgage and no lender will touch me until my obligations are released; so a screwed up credit rating for a few years is less than daunting.
I have told her that as soon as she has a boyfriend move in for more than 2 days a week (or if her current lover that caused our problems sets foot in the house) I will cease payments. The latter is unreasonable, but I feel strongly enough to carry out the threat - I am screwed for the next 5 years anyway.
Any thoughts on where I stand legally with the 2 days/week point?
Thanks in advance
Tricky overall. But 2 days a week holds no legal footing. I am not a legal expert but my perception is as a co-owner you do have a say who can enter your property the law is either you allow them or you dont.
The courts will always take the safety of the children as the lead decision to who gets what with the house. Your suggestion of selling the house when they are grown is a reasonable one.
I suspect comprehensive legal advice is needed here - perhaps try a free 30mins solicitors appointment.
I'm the same as boyc, but taking it from the other side, while you have a say in who enters the house or not, so does your ex, and probably more so as she is living in the house so a court would expect that she should have a social life, especially as she needs to combine this with looking after your son. It is something that needs to be settled in the divorce - one of the questions is whether she intends to re-marry - I would think that co-habiting might be included, so it may have some bearing on the outcome.
Thanks
I am deeply cut up about everything and although I'm moving on well in most areas of my life I still have a few hang-ups.
Appears I have little legal basis to prevent cohabitation but I guess it doesn't matter really. I have the power to stop or delay paying and its down to whether or not I can get past things. Appreciate there are consequences but certainly for the next couple of years they are not material to me.
Trying to be rational, I suppose in a few years I may be fine with things and hope that this is just a phase - I don't want to 'hate' forever but right now it does make a lot of things easier.
Hi,
It was a term of my settlement that once she had cohabited for six months (or remarried) my financial obligations to her ceased, even though my commitment to the children continued.
I don't see why you shouldn't have something similar. I think you're quite right not to want to pay the mortgage for a house someone else is living in.
good luck.
Martin
UnderSiege would be right, if the property/financial side of things was contained in Consent Order (financial) and approved by the Court, it does cover a period of cohabitation, I.e you stop paying the mortgage/she buys you out or off the mortgage.
I would very strongly advise you to obtain a Consent Order though and have all financials contained in that Order!!! Many have not in the past and why Consent Orders are obtained,even if you have no money, because i.e if you win the lottery the ex can come back to obtain a share of that lottery win/house increase. Although obviously the length of time and other events are taken into account, but because it has succeeded in Court, Consent Orders are very strongly advised in all cases.
I can see I'm going to have to do some research on divorce proceedings and the financial side of things!
LOL! Its quite hard, varying matters taken into account! My knowledge is basic from when I studied law and continually updating knowledge since, but as I did not practice it, I prefer to say my knowledge is basic! However what I have written about is fact and why financial matters should be dealt with properly, even if they do only get ad hoc legal advice in the process. (I know how expensive it can be!!)
Perhaps you should write a post giving the basics of divorce proceedings and financial settlements and the various stages involved in the DIY process, perhaps with an attachment with the forms that you mentioned that can be downloaded. Then ask the Moderators to make it a sticky so that it can be referenced.
I agree - I think it would be very useful as the questions seem to be coming up more and more these days.
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