[Solved] Ex partner's new partner is stopping contact

I'm not sure if a third party can be in Contempt of Court, but may be worth looking into.

Why dont you want your ex done for contempt?

I wouldnt think you can do anything to her new partner but if she gets locked up then wouldnt you get the kids?

Regards,

Dave

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, very tempting to have her penalised but if she is sent to prison it will hurt the children even more, and they've suffered enough. Also, although she is guilty, she is not the controlling force so I don't think it would be just for her to take the punishment.

I am also good friends with her brother and I have good communication with her parents and so I am reluctant to doing anything to compromise this.

Also, also.... the Family Courts are great at threatening imprisonment and fines but very, very reluctant to impose!

Is it good for your children not to see theyre father?

I really do appreciate and think a lot of how you are handling it but she has to accept responsability and as your on such good terms with her family why are they not trying to talk sense into her or speaking to her new partner and telling him how this is unacceptable behaviour.

In my opinion the only way she will change her behaviour is to make her take the consequence. Its not you thats penalising her but the courts for her behaviour.

Ill pipe down now and hope I havent offended. 🙂

Regards,

Dave

I'm sorry but i'd have to let the courts send her to prison,even for just a few days to make her see what will happen if she fails to comply with the law. I work in a prison and while it isn't exactly [censored] it ain't exactly heaven either and if she has never been in trouble before it will come as a BIG shock to her system

I think whilst we all respect your stance, the children are what is important here and regardless of whether she is the controlling factor or not, the truth is your children are being denied their father.

I know it's difficult for you but I think you've been more than patient and its maybe about time you put yourself and the children first now. Perhaps as you have a good relationship with the ex's family you could give the letters to them to pass on to the children when the children visit them.

Nannyjane,

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my post.

As I said, there is a lot more to the situation, for example I have spent well over 6 years already going through the courts. The children are getting older now (all teenagers) so by the time I get anywhere with say a residence order, it wouldn't be applicable anyway. I also live a fair way from the children so I'd have to change their schools and college at a very crucial time.

The grandparents did try to help before but my ex-partners new partner threatened to cut their throats, which gives you an idea of what I'm up against here! I have received many threats from him myself of course and the police have had to get involved on at least two occasions.

I have had social services involved too etc. etc.

I do have a strong suspicion that if HE received a threat of legal action against him personally, then I could get somewhere. He has been more than happy to stop the mother coming to court and receiving the threats of imprisonment etc. but at the last hearing, I tested him and called him as a witness and guess what? After around 8 hearings when she hadn't appeared, they both turned up!

So, back to my original question "Is there a section of the law under which I can make an application for an order against a (non-married) stepfather?"

Thank you again.

Might need the big-guns here (CLCC). This story is concerning.....Its murky territory - not sure if this may actually come under a prohibited steps order with respect to the kids - as there are safe guarding issues here.....Also if there are threats of violence to the kids you may need to think about an emergency order.......But I note the issues with schooling. What you have to work out is....is the situation that bad that you worry about their safety? If so then you may potentially need to adjust schooling etc in their best interests given the potential risks.....If not then is there anything you can do to better support them?

Hope all goes well and I would encourage you to bounce ideas off the forum as many hands make light work.

Thanks,

From what I have been told (and from the children themselves), he is absolutely fine with them.

It's just me he has the problem with. Social services and the police have been involved and there is no risk of significant harm to the children from him or their mother.

Which doesn't make my cause any easier!

Can you tell me what CLCC is please?

http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=contact_us

childrens legal advice service....they post regularly on here but can be contacted via phone.

The only order that I can think of is a non molestation order, if he has threatened you...or an injunction to prevent him from coming near you.

I find the violent aspect to this quite disturbing, to threaten to slit the grandparents throats is serious in my opinion....I feel that they should have reported him to the police and asked for charges to be pressed against him. He obviously thinks he can say and do as he wishes without consequences.

The fact that your children say he is fine with them does little to reassure me I'm afraid because the potential for violence is ever present. Are your children happy with the situation, they must miss having you in their lives...As they are teenagers what do you think would happen if they went against his wishes and decided to pay you a visit....he might not be so fine with them then!

I am so in agreement with NJ....there are safety issues here with his threats of violence! However I suspect that no-one is telling the police/social services the whole story. He sounds like he has anger issues!

If the new partner stops your ex from going to Court, he is quite capable of doing anything, as has been proved by the threats to the ex parents! You also have to consider whether the children don't tell you everything, may be they are scared, unsure of your reaction or the new partner's reaction if they told?

I agree with the others, I would have continued to press or contempt of court...whilst it is the last resort, courts have imprisoned a mother for breach of contact order. You would then have had the children!

As for an Order, the only thing would be a civil injunction against the partner.

I see you situation a bit clearer now perhaps.

Mmm...All I can come up with is that his beaviour would be considered criminal in respect of harrasment and threatening behaviour for which you seem to have involved the police already.

Perhaps reporting these facts to social services and assisting your ex partner get some sort of restraining order or non mol against him.

Regards,

Dave

Thanks all for your support and words of wisdom!

At the moment I have correspondence contact. I send letters to CAFCASS and they send them to the boy's home. I have also sent birthday cards since the order was made a couple of years ago. However, I have found out that the children have not received the birthday cards and they didn't get the last posting of letters either. It's going to be difficult to prove anything here but I think my next step is to go and see CAFCASS and explain my deep concerns about the situation and insist they interview the children without the mother (and certainly not the stepfather) present. Then they can make a calculated judgment as to whether there is a risk of significant harm if further orders are not made, and also perhaps if it is the partner who is the cause of the problems.

What then I don't know but I don't have much faith in CAFCASS's ability and willingness to help, that's for sure!

In the meantime I have been lucky enough to 'bump into' my 15 year old son and he has told me that they are all okay, which is good IF he is telling me the truth of course.

As CAFCASS are still involved in as much as they pass on the letters, you could tell them that your understanding is that the letters are not getting through to the children and request that they deliver them to the children personally to make sure that they receive them.

I think often with children we have to look for signs of how they are....was he clean and well dressed, how did he seem in himself.....did he look well or was he paler than he should be, did he look tired? Did he make plenty of eye contact?

Best of luck with CAFCASS.

Are you able to get into contact with your children by phone, and if so, do your children live near a post office they could call into? If so, you could look at the idea of setting up a PO Box - it's not expensive, and means that the children (probably you oldest) calls into the post office to pick up any mail, rather than it being delivered to the house - you'd have to write regularly so that your son knows that if he calls in, say every week, there would be something there for him, so it becomes a routine. Normally, I think conformation is sent to the delivery address, so you'd have to check whether that's possible to send to you. Alternatively, see if the school are willing to pass on letters/cards etc to them and write direct to the school.