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Hi all.
Newbie here so be gentle... 😉
My ex and I divorced nearly 3 years ago now and we have a 3 and a half year old son. She recently informed me she is 'thinking about' moving away about an hour or so...
We do not have a contact order in place as we always said that we would put our son first and remain amicable where he was concerned. However, she did insist on a court order re: maintenance!
I currently have my son with me nearly 50% of a year overall, sometimes more when the mood takes the ex...
Having read similar posts on this site I understand there is little I can do in terms of her moving away (she has found a new partner btw hence the move) however I have concerns re: his behaviour, health and general way in which she is bringing him up. As the person in charge of child protection in a large primary school in an inner city area I do unfortunately come across some pretty poor parenting so I don't know if my opinion is somewhat skewed by this but I am really fraught about her moving away and the reduction in time I will have with him.
I will basically be losing 2 nights in the week and we have tentatively discussed my having bigger blocks of time i.e. in half terms and summer holidays but I feel that the little and often contact is better for our son than chunks of time.
Am I over-reacting? Is there anything legally I can do? But would I want to given ex and I do have a pretty amicable relationship in regards to our son? Would I get anywhere raising concerns with Social Care and Health? Again, would I want to?!
Am having sleepless nights over this and could really do with some advice or sharing or anyone else's experiences...
Thanks in advance. 🙂
Hi,
As you have gathered, there's not much you can do in terms of her moving an hour away. The only way you could do anything is to go for a residence order to have your son full time, but although you have concerns for the way he is being brought up, it doesn't sound like it's enough for a court (or social services) to change who he is living with - the courts generally won't change the parent with care unless there is very good cause as this would be disruptive.
It seems to me that since everything is amicable at the moment, then your best chance is to keep it that way, and going down a legal route will almost certainly affect that adversely, so I would suggest you don't do this unless there is no other option. I'm afraid that it's not going to be easy, but you are going to have to accept that the pattern of your contact with your son is going to change, so the best advice I can give is that you discuss this with your ex to find the best solution, plus ring your son often between times to keep in contact between, and possibly consider a webcam to keep in touch also.
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