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Family court - Ex not budging

 
(@dadofone98)
Trusted Member Registered

I'm reaching out for advice and support regarding my situation, which has been fraught with challenges and lacks progress despite my efforts to resolve matters amicably. Here's a brief overview of my situation:

I separated from my ex-partner five years ago when our child was just one year old due to her abusive and controlling behaviour. Since then, we've been navigating co-parenting arrangements, but unfortunately, things haven't improved much and I’ve had to do as I’m told. My ex-partner still exhibits controlling behaviours and seems unwilling to move forward, despite the significant amount of time that has passed.

Currently, I have regular contact with my child, having them every other weekend and one weeknight., I've applied for a variation to our existing outdated order and gone for a shared care arrangement, which would provide more consistent and equitable arrangements to ensure that both parents have equal involvement in our child’s upbringing. I've been open to negotiating and completed mediation on my own, but my ex-partner's and solicitor have been unresponsive until the day of deadlines for submissions, making progress difficult. Only one additional night offered at FHDRA and sticking to it. Cafcass haven’t made recommendations for contact just said parents should agree themselves. No safeguarding concerns. 

Additionally, my ex-partner has a history of dishonesty in court proceedings, including obtaining non-molestation orders through false claims which have since been proven to be false. This, coupled with her controlling behaviour and attempts to undermine my relationship with our child by negatively influencing them, has made co-parenting extremely challenging.She has most recently been telling the child not to speak to my partner of 3 years which is obviously quite upsetting. Everything child says is denied by ex. 

I'm seeking advice on how to navigate this difficult situation and ensure that my child's well-being remains the primary focus. Any insights or guidance would be greatly appreciated. How likely are they to order something and do I have to wait until a final hearing ? so much time is being wasted. My child loves coming to us and being part of our family, but sadly I am starting to see some effects from her pressure. 

next step is DRA - 6 months on from FHDRA , it’s all taking so long as the courts don’t have the staff. 

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 09/05/2024 1:05 pm
(@bill337)
Illustrious Member

Hi,

Seeking 50/50 can be difficult to achieve if there is no backing from CAFCASS. Its possible the next DRA could be the final hearing. Ultimately the judges would review both of your statements and arguments, and make a final decision. Outcome can be unpredictable.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/05/2024 4:01 pm

(@dadofone98)
Trusted Member Registered

Statements are in but the DRA was then postponed. Supposed to be negotiating in between but still nothing from other side. Argument against 50/50 is too much back and forth and child already has routine with her - the primary carer.

Cafcass didn’t recommend anything really - it was a real flakey report just saying no safeguarding concerns and we need to learn to get along better and complete a parenting course - which we’ve done. 

I was told no chance of DRA being final hearing so that gives me some hope given I started this process last September and it’s with magistrates.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/05/2024 4:46 pm
(@champagne)
Honorable Member

Court process is always lengthy.  Is there any way you could try mediation to avoid the delays?  Would suggest you use AppClose for communication with your ex.  If you haven't. already done so, suggest you ask the school to send you reports.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 10/05/2024 11:00 am

how contact centres work

(@dadofone98)
Trusted Member Registered

@champagne yes all sorted with the school reports , we use an app for communication and she declined mediation. The negative influence and manipulation is a hard one to prove though as it’s he said / she said.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 10/05/2024 2:36 pm
(@dadofone98)
Trusted Member Registered

Given our case has been so delayed I hope they can see how it would be in child’s best interests to make the DRA a final hearing , and I hope they can see the efforts I’ve gone to to resolve matters and the obstruction I’ve been up against. As nice and easy as it would have been to agree there is literally no chance of that as ex wants everything on her terms and in her favour so she keeps the upper hand. 

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 10/05/2024 2:37 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

(@bob49papa)
Active Member Registered

@dadofone98 As you are going for 50/50 shared care, it is possible as some members here can testify.

 

In my experience and application for Equal Shared Care. I researched and used Family Court Judges Judgements (paragraphs that support my situation) and evidence from Applicant Barrister's statement (some you can find on Barrister's Chambers website) which shows that 50/50 shared care is in the best interest of your child. For example, supporting your child (depending on their age) completing their school homework, taking them to their school sports events, Dental, Optical appointments, etc. Be prepared to spend a lot time putting in a good supporting statement that support your application for Equal Shared Care, especially, if you are self representing. It is challenging but very achievable. Good luck to you and your child.  

ReplyQuote
Posted : 12/05/2024 2:51 pm
(@dadofone98)
Trusted Member Registered

@bob49papa thanks for the reply, yes going for shared care 50/50. With the delay I might be able to add a page to my statement before the hearing (limit was 4 x a4 pages and I put in 3). If you have any links to what you’ve mentioned that would be a great help as I could add something of that nature. Hearing was delayed 11 weeks and have 6 more weeks to go - still nothing from her solicitor, there has been no efforts at all to come to an agreement and as I said before, it looks like she’s been working hard to negatively influence our child with some of what he’s been coming out with. We are just doing our best to remain positive and lead with love. Whatever outcome the result of a new order will be better than before.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 12/05/2024 6:58 pm

(@warhammer)
Estimable Member Registered

Your case sounds exactly the same as mine, the order of things happening is a bit different but all there.I applied for 50/50 shared residency a couple of years ago it’s was refused, because she made out that I wasn’t involved in all aspects of his life. I did all the school stuff, parents evening etc but she never lets me take him dentist, haircut, she went on all school trips (she works at the school). She had also moved in with her boyfriend and his 2 children, said not seeing them all for a week would have emotional impacts on him. Shared residency doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split it can be 60/40, 70/30 etc. what contact do you currently have?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/05/2024 11:13 am
(@warhammer)
Estimable Member Registered

Your case sounds exactly the same as mine, the order of things happening is a bit different but all there.I applied for 50/50 shared residency a couple of years ago it’s was refused, because she made out that I wasn’t involved in all aspects of his life. I did all the school stuff, parents evening etc but she never lets me take him dentist, haircut, she went on all school trips (she works at the school). She had also moved in with her boyfriend and his 2 children, said not seeing them all for a week would have emotional impacts on him. Shared residency doesn’t have to be a 50/50 split it can be 60/40, 70/30 etc. what contact do you currently have?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/05/2024 11:14 am

how contact centres work

(@warhammer)
Estimable Member Registered

How did you win the non molestation claim, any info greatly appreciated.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/05/2024 11:54 am

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