[Solved] Father reappears after 11 years

Hi

I would normally say he has every right to see his children, but in this case 11 years with no contact (where’s he been?) I would say he has no automatic right and if he wants to see them tell him to go to court. Do the children want to see him, there wishes will be listened to, but even if they do want to see him it will have to be supervised, and they don’t know this man. Do you know why he disappeared?
Was he stopped from seeing them, lots of Dads give up the fight , my own father did..

Thanks for your reply. No he was never stopped from seeing his children. He just did a runner. He didn't even spell the children's names correctly. I'll have to pay for legal advice.

Hi there

Keep all correspondence from the father, it will help if you have to go to court.

I'm with Ak on this, a lot more needs to be known about what hes been doing in the last 11/12yrs. Did he say why he has decided to contact your partner after all this time? Your partner could contact the police just to make sure theres been no convictions for anything or cause for concern.

Its important that he proves he is serious about wanting to be in their lives, he did a runner once, he can do it again.

However there are fathers that have come here and genuinely want to restablish contact after a long period of time. There can be all sorts of reasons why dads disappear so I would try and keep an open mind until you have all the facts.

Make him aware that it will be a very long road he must take before he can even begin to put things right, but inevitably if he goes all the way through court etc it may be that he will eventually be allowed to try.

Having said that theres a long way to go yet and if you are unsure then it wont hurt to take some legal advice...just be aware solicitors costs can snowball and it could end up costing thousands!

Best of luck and let us know how you get on 🙂

Firstly, if you want legal advice, if you don't have a solicitor, we can ask the Childrens Legal Centre to pop on and give advice, and you can also speak to them directly - this is free advice.

At the moment, technically, you can refuse to allow contact, and the result would be that he would then have to take steps for contact to be re-instated - initially this could be mediation, and ultimately it could be applying for a contact order. Your partner doesn't have to instigate anything, unless she has any real fears for her or her children's safety.

What are her feelings about re-introducing contact slowly, and has she spoken to her children about this and about how they feel? I would suggest that if her ex is insistent about this, then he needs to initiate mediation (at his cost) to see if any agreement can be reached, and if not, then it's open for him to apply for a contact order (again, the application is his cost), and your partner can self represent if this happens.

As a matter of interest, has he ever paid maintenance? If not, I would consider going to the CSA asap to get this sorted if he isn't prepared to pay voluntarily - even if you don't need the money, it would be a useful college fund for her children later on.