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Going to court to get 50/50 parenting any help much appreciated

Eminent Member Registered

Hi all


There have been a few similar topics but my situation is slightly just wondering advice and whether sols are needed or whether you have experience and wd recommend a route to go down for court.

My kids mum has always decided care arrangements and I've always wanted 50/50 but when I ask she backs up and threatens removal ... Currently I have them Fri after school to sun or Mon morning and then half hols 

She has a history of lying, alienation and false accusations to CMS ... Which all are found out and overturned as I've never missed payments/pickups etc.

she won't give me access to or put my name on forms for emergency contact so doesn't even see a parent equal......she lies about important dates and didn't ask me which schools I wanted kids to goto... So I am totally out the picture.  If I ask or take action she then doubles down and lies or refuses care/threatens care changes.

I've been to a miam and they advise straight to court .. just wondering others experience of going via a sols or doing it alone..?


I've clear evidence she is lying and still shares bed with my 10and 8 yr old kids.. she hides their illnesses from me and also 8yr old wets at her house during day and school but not at mine and I never find this out until weeks later.

Miam suggest it's not a protection or safety issue.. but when shud it be? ..


I've been told If I goto court saying I have a stable income, I can and do look after their best interest and they love it ...then I may lose the time I have, so I need to go into court and basically bad mouth their mum....

Surely that's counter to any chance of ever working together in future?  Ps ..I have evidence in txt and email of all the above as well as me trying to amicably work with her...

There is a real risk of parental alienation... 


Any advice would be greatly received.






Topic starter Posted : 21/03/2023 1:43 pm
Illustrious Member


I would  not suggest lawyers. Recently  spoke to a dad who spent £50,000 to get 50/50. Court would expect parents to be on reasonable  terms, in terms of communication. Other factors are your job, if its flexible, can you do school runs. How far you live from kids etc. Think you should only report negative things about mother  if there's genuine safeguarding  issues, or something that makes her to be unfit parent.

Posted : 21/03/2023 2:39 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Eminent Member Registered

@bill337 thanks..

That's where my concerns the miam interviewer can't give advise but did say it's about the court deciding who the kids are better with... The hint for that was that nothing will change unless you can confirm the kids are better with you than mum...


Which is different than what I thought which was all the court should care about is my finances, stable home, ease and flex to pickup etc...



Topic starter Posted : 21/03/2023 2:53 pm
Illustrious Member

You have to be careful about what you consider to be safeguarding, and what the courts consider, they will probably be a bit more lenient with some things, so your really need to only go for things that can serious affect their mental or physical wellbeing. Also, the court will not concern themselves about your finances, and if you try to bring this up, it will potentially go against you. The prime consideration of the court is the welfare of the child, and even though your finances will obviously have an affect on that, the court won't see it that way.

Incidentally, I spend £40k almost 20 years ago (and that's after a 20% discount due to family connections) on legal fees regarding contact, it does have a long term impact when you are spending that sort of money. I would really suggest you try for mediation first (even if you do this alongside starting a court hearing), it could save you a huge amount in the long run, be less adversarial with your ex, and achieve the same, if not a better result.

Posted : 31/03/2023 4:39 pm

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