[Solved] Had my 1st hearing - what to do next ?

Hi Im trying to work out how old your Daughter is, 5-6 ?
Its a shame the solicitors didn't inform you that you could go to court on your own, I think after 19 months of not seeing her caffcass wouldn't have had many options I think for the first direction hearing you did really well to get supervised contact. Its all about the child and the childs welfare. I think you need to see how the supervised visits go and they will observe how your daughter is with you, as for overnight stays this may take a while.
Im guessing but I expect the next stage will be unsupervised day visits with a time scale of when overnight stays can start . As your son had regular contact with his sister ?

Hi thanks for reply - feel a little more at ease knowing that I did well to get what I got.

My daughter is now 5yrs old

No they haven't seen each other either for 19 months.

My daughter has no contact with any of her other brothers or sister....... she has 3 other children and none of them see her, she doesn't have a relationship with her grandparents either ??

1) She can raise any allegation at any timepoint unfortunately, when fathers are winning the claws come out.....you also do not know all her allegations to CAFCASS.
2) Should not be a reason but again will depend on her grounds for preventing overnight contact. If there is no risk there should not be a reason to prevent overnight stays....
3) Always push, ask for 10 hours you might get 5. Work on that principle as courts like to appear neutral. Given the other sibbling are with you it may be in her best interest that you consider shared residence or even sole residence (and end up with shared residence) to allow the sibblings to have a meaninful relationship.
4) Push, push, push

PS the profile pic is simply one of nicest messages I have ever read and Ive read a lot of textbooks....:)

I agree with Boycie, lovely avatar!

1). As she hasn't bought up any issues with the CAFCASS officer, and they would have asked, I don't think she will. With no proof the likelihood is that they will not be taken seriously. You already have custody of your son and she didn't object to that or allege any safeguarding issues. This would be my response if she does make accusations at some point in the proceedings. Judges are used to hearing allegations that are made falsely, I wouldn't worry too much.

2). If there is nothing in the checks regarding your partner then you have little to worry about. Overnight contact and contact in your home will not be decided on the mothers wishes. Once you have completed the supervised contact and return to court, all being well the judge should move the contact out of supervision and increase it. Initially it's likely to,be just daytime contact but then that should progress to overnight stays.

3). As you hadn't had any contact with your daughter for such a long time it's usual for contact to resume under supervision in a contact centre. So it's highly unlikely that the court would have gone against CAFCASS advice.

4). The next stage would be to progress to unsupervised contact, and then after a short period of time, overnight stays. It's a good idea to have a schedule of increasing contact prepared for the court. For example

Alternate Saturday afternoons from 1pm - 6pm for 8 weeks. picking the child up from her home or other appropriate place and dropping her back off. All being well contact to be increased to

A full Saturday every fortnight from 10am - 6pm, picking up and dropping off from the resident parents home. This for a further 4 weeks, increasing to

A Saturday and Sunday from 10am - 6pm every fortnight for a further 4 weeks, picking up and dropping off at the mothers house. This increasing to

Saturday from 10am - Sunday at 6pm every fortnight. You could ask for a further increase to rom Friday after school to Sunday tea time if it suits.

Also you should ask for a tea time visit mid week on a weekly basis and a share of school holidays.

Thanks everyone for your replies, these are elevating so many fears.

The referral form for the Contact Centre has arrived and details within this it categorically states that are no safeguarding issues with relation to myself, but my access is high vigilance contact (someone in the room, will take her to the toilet etc) why would they ask for this if no safeguarding issues...... ?

I'm anxious what my 1st contact is going to be like - its been so long since ive seen her and knowing that my ex has said she doesn't want to see me - I'm unsure what I am able to do? Will the person supervising the contact introduce me as her dad ? Or how will it pan out?

I think im more anxious about the not knowing how my daughters going to react, especially with the influence of her mom? Apparently she has put on Facebook that my daughter is upset, crying and scared that Im going to be going to school to take her? All I want is to have the type of relationship we had before I was stopped.

I am in contact with the school re reports etc but Im wondering whether I should email them or make an appointment to go in talk to them and elevated any of there fears. But Im wondering what on earth her mom is telling her for her to react this way ???

We are definitely going to draw a schedule up ready for our next court hearing and ask for more than we need, so hopefully we get what we want.......?

I think the term high vigilence is used to refer to supervised contact. Perhaps because of the length of time since you have had any contact with your daughter is the issue here, and the fact that the child is apparently displaying signs of anxiety about meeting you.

In my opinion supervised contact is being abused and its almost becoming a given, even when like you, there are no safeguarding issues. It might be a good idea, once a centre has been decided upon, that you speak to the staff about this and ask for clarification of their procedures for moving contact on as the relationship between you and your child progresses.

Try not to get anxious about the first meeting, you don't want her to pick up on your anxiety and mirror it during the visit. If you had a good relationship before, I see no reason why that shouldn't be the case again. Talk to the centre staff about what to expect, they might let you visit before hand and acclimatise yourself, if not they will talk to you about what facilities they have ...I'm led to believe that these places are welcoming and very child friendly, there will be toys and things. I'm sure you will be able to take her a gift, maybe some sweets for the visit...

As far as contacting the school is concerned, you could ask for an appointment to discuss your child's anxiety and give them reassurances about this.

Try and get copies of the mothers offending Facebook posts, your daughter can only be picking up this anxiety from her mother and this is wrong, it's called Parental Alienation, it might come in handy later on.