[Solved] help

Hi Simon 🙂

I think the best advice I can offer you at the moment is to stay calm! It does all seem very daunting so its better to take it one step at a time. You've only just put the application in for court, so you will have a few weeks breathing space. Mediation is your next step so just concentrate on that for now. Make a list of all the points you want to bring up so that you don't forget anything. The meeting will be fairly informal so don't worry too much, the meeting is for the Mediator to gather all the facts and get a better understanding of the issues and the outcome you would like from it.

The first hearing will be fairly short and its what's called a Directions Hearing. You won't need to prepare a statement at this stage but when/if you do we can help you with that. Lets be positive about the outcome of Mediation for now, hopefully you will both be able to reach an agreement and then the first hearing will be about getting that written into an order and will be straightforward....no further hearings will be necessary if that's the case!

So try to clear your head and don't worry about court bundles and such like, not yet anyway...as we said before we are here to advise and support you along the way! 🙂

thank you very much for your help nannyjane ill see how mediation goes but to be honest i dont think the x will turn up and im hoping that i qualifiy for legal aid for it because i cant really afford £100 a session. ill try and keep myself focused on mediation for now but if theres any more advice you can give me on how the court works it would be really appreciated thank you again nannyjane all the best simon

...If you qualified for an exemption of the court fees then the odds are you will qualify for the same with the Mediation costs.

As has been said, the first hearing should be fairly basic, at this stage you wont be expected to submit a statement. You will get there early, usually about an hour before the hearing is scheduled. It might be a good idea to take a friend or family member with you for support. The court adviser will speak to you and will encourage you both to talk and come to an agreement about contact...if you dont agree then you will go into court to proceed with the hearing. If you can agree then the adviser will take you both before the judge and ask for the agreement to be written up into a Consent Order. I'm not sure if a Consent Order and a Contact Order are the same thing but just in case, ask if the order will have a warning notice attached.

If she is accompanied by a solicitor they will also request a meeting with you prior to going before the judge, and will probably try to intimidate you into agreeing to their terms, they can come across as a bit high and mighty but stand your ground, and if you are uncomfortable with anything just call the meeting politely to a close.

Once in front of the judge, he/she will ask you some questions about why you are there and what you would like to happen. If any allegfations are made he/she will either ask for evidence to substantiate the claims and if none is forthcoming, disregard them...or he/she will err on the side of caution and order reports from police and CAFCASS to be done for the next hearing. He/she will probably ask you what amount of contact you would like and you can discuss this and ask for an interim contact order to be made in the meantime. If your ex asks for supervised contact, you can ask that it be supervised by a family member. You could have the elected family member write a brief letter to the court stating that they understand what supervised contact means, and give an assurance that they will take their undertaking seriously and will be in attendance at all times...you might not need this but its best to try and prepare for all eventualities! Any documents that you want to submit should be copied in triplicate, the original to the court.

Dont forget to go smartly dressed and take plenty of change for the vending machine! Put your documents into a file, there will only be your copies of the C100 and FM1 if she doesnt show for Mediation. It might be a good idea to write down all the relevant points so you dont forget to bring them up...and as has been mentioned a pad and pen to take notes.

Finally you want to come across as calm and reasonable at all times. Be truthful and dont make derogatory remarks about your ex. When speaking about your daughter refer to her as "our" not "my" daughter and come from the perspective of what is best for her at all times....it is in my daughters best interests to have a close and loving relationship with both parents... my daughters well being is important and until xx weeks ago we had regular, unsupervised contact. etc etc.

Hope that helps a little Simon.....as I said we will help you at each step 😉

what a real help your being nannyjane the information your giving me is brilliant thank you very much. when i handed my c100 form in i didnt know that i had to keep a copy of it does it matter that i havent got a copy of it or should i ask the courts for a copy when they get in touch thanks again nannyjane for helping me all the best simon

Youre welcome Simon 🙂

As long as you appreciate that its just a guideline and all cases are different, it might not happen exactly as I have written but it should go along the lines of...

When you handed the C100 in how many copies did you hand in altogether? Generally its the original and three copies. They would take them all and then send you yours back by post, usually 1-2 weeks after you submitted them. They may send you the copy that you will need to serve to your ex, or sometimes they will take care of that. This will all be explained in the letter you get back from them. If your ex has a solicitor you can serve the papers there, or you can post them as long as you have proof of postage...some feel its appropriate to send them recorded signed for delivery.

hi nannyjane yes i understand that your advice is just a guide line but its giving me a good understanding of how things work at court which is really appreciated. when i handed the c100 form in it was just the one form that i handed in i didnt know i needed more copys untill i read about it should i contact the court and ask if i can have a few copys of it. all the best simon

I'm amazed that they accepted only the one form! Did you deliver the form in person or did you post it to the court? When you claimed an exemption did you submit this form at the same time as the C100?

I think the best thing you can do is to call them on Monday and explain that you have submitted only the one form as you didn't realise you also had to submit 3 copies as well and ask them what you should do.

i delivered the c100 form along with an excemption form in person to the court receptionist. when i rang the court and asked about the c100 form i was told that they would send me one out in the post and to either send it back by post or hand it into the courts no mention of having copys of it ill give them a call tomorrow and see what they say. all the best simon.

I find that really strange Simon. :unsure:

When my son took the C100 and FM1 forms into the court to submit them, she checked that we had the original plus 3 copies of each of the forms.

Heres a link to The Custody Minefield, I find this website very helpful... www.thecustodyminefield.com/CourtForms/C100Checklist.html

Have you had a reply from them to tell you that your application for an exemption has been successful?

iv had a reply saying that i am excempt from paying the fees the day after i handed my forms in at court. should i fill the copies of the c100 form in exactly the same as the original c100 form iv printed 3 copies off from that link you provided me with ill also give the courts a ring in the morning to see what they say thanks again for all your help all the best simon

I think it might be better just to photocopy x3 the original C100 that you've already filled in....see what the court says tomorrow, they might be really nice and photocopy it for you!

ill see what they say tomorrow ill keep you informed thanks again for all your help all the best simon

i contacted the courts today and explained that i hadnt made copys of the c100 form and they said that they had made copys of it already and that it had been past to the magastrates court and processed and i would be getting a court date within the next few days.

Thats good news for you Simon 🙂 ....and very accommodating of them, some courts would have sent it back and told you to get it copied I'm sure!

i got a reply from the courts today along with a copy of the c100 form iv got my first hearing on the 16th of july got to be at the court for 11 oclock should i get there for 10 oclock just so that im there in plenty of time what should i include in my bundle of papers to take to court thanks for your help all the best simon.

Hiya!

what you should take with you, preferably in a ring binder folder, is your initial application - have you completed mediation?If so, put a copy of the FM1 in your own ring binder. Take a pad of paper, and several pens/pencils (they may run out!) , so you can keep a note of the Order the Judge makes, i.e. when documents have to be filed by, including a statement you will need to file You will receive a typed copy of the Order, but it may not be for a couple of weeks and you need to keep a note of when things have to be done by.

The first hearing will be relatively short, and is called a Directions Hearing.

As NannyJ said earlier you will be asked what you are looking for, ask for interim contact and contact. The Judge may grant interim contact He will list what he wants to see/what documents he wans to see, and set the case down for a further hearing later on.

,

hello,

thank you very much for your help i havent completed mediation yet iv got my first appointment tomorrow at 9am. what should the statment include in it that i will have to file thanks again for your help all the best simon

Dont worry about the statement just yet, mediation might be more successful than you think or you might just get it sorted at the first hearing, in which case a statement wont be needed. If you want some idea of what a statement looks like there is an example of one in a sticky at the top of the Legal Eagle section called "Contact Order C100 Guide" by Yoji.

I forgot to say ....Best of luck for tomorrow Simon! 😉

thanks nannyjane ill keep you informed of what happens thanks again for your help all the best simon.

Good luck hope it all goes well, try not to get to anxious I know its difficult , been there got the t shirt and remember this is the first step in the right direction

As NannyJ says, don't worry about the statement yet, you will be told when you need to file it (and you will be given plenty of time) and we can talk about it again then. I hope your mediation went well. When and if you get the FM1 before the Court hearing, ensure you keep a copy of it, and send a copy to the Court. If you don't get it until the morning or morning before the Court hearing, take extra copies of it to curt with you, to hand direct to the Court/Judge.

i went to mediation yesterday but it didnt go well i didnt qualifiy for legal aid for it and they wanted to charge me £115.00 per session which i cant afford so i told them i couldnt carry on with it i still had to pay £100.00 for that meeting so i could get the fm1 form so i had to borrow the cash of a family member and i posted it today so just waiting for the form to arrive now.

Oh thats a pity 🙁 ...I would have thought if you qualified for a court fee exemption you would qualify for help with Mediation costs! Well, at least you have tried and you have the FM1. 🙂

when i recive the fm1 form from mediation do i need to hand the original in to the courts straight away or should i just hand it in on my court date. all the best simon.

I would take a photocopy and take the original into the court straight away 🙂

will do that as soon as it gets here thank you nannyjane all the best simon.

hi nannyjane iv just sent you a private message all the best simon

You've got a PM Simon 🙂

I find that hard to understand why you didn't qualify for legal aid for mediation!!! Did they complete a legal aid form with you?
But keep a photocopy of the FM1 and send/hand in the original to the Court.

Hi Simon 🙂

Heres a link to a Legal Aid calculator.

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ....hope it works!

hello enyamachela i completed a legal aid form with them but they said i earned to much to get legal aid and it would cost £115 a session which i cant afford to do so i had to tell them i couldnt carry on with mediation. all the best simon.

hi nannyjane iv done a calculation on the link you gave me and it says that i may qualifiy for legal aid im now thinking that the women hasnt worked it out right thank you for the link all the best simon.

...If you can, print off the calculation and either take it back to the Mediator you saw or try another one....its often cheaper to use the service of a mediator from the National Family Mediation service...heres a link to their website - www.nfm.org.uk 🙂

Yes do what NJ suggests.